Is a 'Missing Persons" report necessary??

So, I have been feeling (and acting, as I am sure many of you have noticed) a little out of sorts lately. My question is, do I need to file a missing persons report?

Please hang tight as I make an attempt to explain...

I know many of you are moms - some of you are SAHM's, some are working moms, and some of you are like me in that you are home when your kids are, but you do work outside the home as well. Wow, only a few lines into this post, and I am already confused... ;) Anyway, I have been wondering lately, "Where is Erin?" You know, kinda like "Where's Waldo" or "Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?"...But, those are fictional. My issue is quite real, and I suspect it is the question that keeps many of you awake at night.

Or, I could be totally wrong and just a victim of a distorted time/space continuum...

(That last line is a reference to "Back to the Future" for those who did not get it...I am smart, but not that smart! Sorry...I tend to use humor as a coping mechanism... I know, I'm a dork. BUT, if ya can't make fun of yourself, who can you make fun of, right? Actually, you could make fun of a lot of people, you just can't broadcast it the way I just did. Seriously, just go to Wal-Mart on any given day and get an instant ego-boost. It does make me wonder when people stopped putting mirrors in their homes...Hmmm??? Anyhoo, I have managed to venture way off track again, so I will end this particular batch of rambling and continue with the original mission.)

The only way I have been able to describe the aforementioned condition is that "I'm just in a funk." I am quite confident some of you have felt this same way in the not so distant past.

I work outside the home, but I am here to see my kids off to school and to greet them when they get home. Spending the day with 10 children between the ages of 3 and 4 is quite exhausting, but I can honestly say that I look forward to it everyday. Crazy, I know, but it is actually true... Wow, did I just put that in print??? Seriously, I look forward to going to work...I love the social interaction (I am a bit of a "social butterfly"...oh, and I like to talk!), the 10 minute drive that gives me time to myself, the smiles, hugs, and laughs of children when they walk in my room each day...I love to hear, "Hi, Mrs. Erin...I love you." or "Good Morning, Mrs. Erin, I missed you." I love to have a parent tell me they hear nothing but good things from their child about my class. These are the things that get me through the work day...

Even more, I love to hear one of my kids (and I am talking about the 2 that I gave birth to) tell me, "I love you, Mommy. I am so lucky to have such a good family." I love the hugs and kisses in the morning before they get on the bus, and then again after the bus drops them off in the afternoon. I like that they want me there each and every night to put them to bed. I like the feeling that I am going to fall over when one of the boys comes running at me out of nowhere to give me a hug. While I don't like the smell of sweaty, little boys ( kinda reminds me of a wet dog), I love the smiles on their faces when they have had a good day out with Mother Nature.

So...why is it that I feel so disjointed? I am asked, "Who are you? What do you like to do in your free time?" Questions like that really throw me for a loop, because I honestly do not know how to answer. I know what I used to like and who I used to be, but all of those things have changed. My priorities have changed. I know, I know...that's kind of a given when you have kids. BUT, I am curious as to why nobody ever speaks of this change. Did Dr. Spock write about it in a book that I failed to read?? I am often asked, "Are you okay?" Do I really come across as being that far off???

So, to skip a bunch of psycho-babble and Kleenex-inducing thoughts, I will wrap this particular post. I do thank those of you who made it to the end, and I will certainly post a more smile or laughter-inducing tale next time...

I do realize I did not quite express all that I set out to, but it is late and I have much to do...

Okay, not really, but it sounded good as I was writing it (typing?)...

BTW, as far as the whole "Back to the Future" reference...if movie writers can come up with that type of advanced technology, shouldn't the real brains in our country be able to come up with a way to reduce our fuel intake? I mean, seriously...Doc Brown ends up running a vehicle/time machine on banana peels, and we can't figure out a way to run a car without supporting the Middle East??? Hello....