What happened to "hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle...???

Okay...those of you who grew up in the same era as I did will totally understand how freaking funny this is...for the rest, go look at a Mother Goose book and you will see it, too!!!

Oh, yeah, by the way...for those of you PETA supporters who are way over the top...you may want to skip the first couple rhymes...


Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.


Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.


Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.


Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
'What have you got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon,
'Pies, you dumb ass' !!


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.


Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.


Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.


There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.



So, I have to credit the last few lines of humor to en email I received earlier today, but...I still can't help but wonder what the heck has happened to this society?? Why do we feel the need to mess with Mother Goose of all people?? I mean, really, did her goose s**t on your house or something???

Okay, I'll quit griping about the complete and total abuse of American literature. However, I will also admit that I laughed my a** off at a couple of these little rhymes.

Oh, come on now, you know you laughed, too. If you didn't, you may actually be too young to really get the whole Mother Goose thing.

On this last note...I am out. I have got to get some sort of rest before I make the road trip. Hope to see (hear?? type?? write??) all of you soon. BTW, what is the proper way to state this situation??

On the road again...

So, I am leaving town again tomorrow for the second time this summer. In May/June, we made the 900+ mile journey to Texas to visit my family there, and tomorrow (technically today) we are heading out for Indiana. Yep, we are heading out on a 500+ mile journey to the "Heartland". Brian's parents are south of Indianapolis and still live in the same house he grew up in...how crazy is that?? Seriously, can you tell me the name of somebody you know who still lives in the same place they grew up or who's parents still live in the same place??? (Julie, you are not allowed to answer these questions, cuz we all know you are a L'ville native!) I swear, I think I have moved so many times in my life than I can count on both hands and both feet...that would be more than 20 for those of you a little slow in the math department! ;) Te-ha-giggle...

Wow, that was all a major detour from the original topic at hand...

Anyway, the kids and I are heading out to spend almost 2 weeks with the in-laws...Now, before all the moaning and groaning begins, I should elaborate on this particular journey. My Mother-in-law is absolutely one of my best friends...crazy, I know, but it is true. And, no, she did not pay me to put this in print...she's too cheap for that!! HA HA HA...Sorry, Mom, but ya know it's funny and you are laughing your a** off right now! (I better watch it...in less than 24 hours I will be within arms length to be smacked) (Ooohhh, wait a minute...you have an injured arm, so ya can't smack me...hmmmm...) LMAO

Dang, I need to stay on track here...it's a good thing I don't drive the way I post, or it would take us like 5 days to make the trip! As it is, with the luck we have, what should be about a 10 hour trip ends up being 12 or more. Why is it that the entire driving population can make a trip from Atlanta to Indy in about 10 hours or so, but it takes the Mann family 12+ hours (usually closer to 13 or 14)?? I mean, for real...it is very rare to make that journey without some sort of major drama...I am hoping tomorrow's (today's?) journey will be relatively uneventful. It would be nice to arrive while the sun still shines. Many times in the past, the hubby's reply to our arrival time would be, "There is no sunshine in the Men's john."

So, the kids are very excited about the impending visit to "Hoosierville". They really enjoy going up there during the summer, because we try to time our visit with Fair Week. They absolutely love going to the county fair up in the heartland. It is getting to be a rather tricky experience; however; because, we have one child who is big enough to ride some of the more involved rides but is too scared, and the other child has no fear but is not tall enough to meet height requirements! What the heck, man...any advice on this particular predicament???

(I am glad to know that the weather conditions look like they are going to be much more cooperative than last year. For example, I was told today's highs were not too far off what the temp here was a couple hours ago...64!!)

Before I sign off, I must put into print another rarity...(the first being that I actually love going to the in-law's house for those of you who didn't pick up on that). So, my brother spent the day looking at pyramids...Not all that weird right?? (yeah, sure if you are a math geek...) BUT, for those of you who have not followed, it is actually really weird!! My brother spent time today looking at THE pyramids...as in the ones in Egypt...ya know, outside Cairo??? Crazy, huh?? How many people can actually say that...Yes, I know, a lot of people can say that...but how many people do YOU know that can say that with all honesty?? So, he spent 14 hours on a plane to get to Cairo (where he landed and arrived safely, thank God); took a cab to visit the pyramids in Giza; he will sleep tonight (tomorrow...what exactly is the time difference between here and there??) and take a 5 hour bus ride to his camp; and then, he is going to be transported by helicopter offshore to do his job! Brother-man, I love you and am so proud of all you have accomplished!!!

"How many different levels of thickness have you gone through??"

I have previously stated our uncanny ability to quote movie line after movie line after movie line...and so on and so forth...

This particular title has absolutely no bearing on the subject of tonight's post; however, the movie happens to be on A&E right now, and I love that line. Actually, I could probably post an entire blog with nothing but lines from that particular movie. I'm sure you've noticed I have yet to say what movie I am referring to, right??? Well, if I actually put the title in print, I might be charged royalty fees...

Again, insert the whole "ba-da-dah".

I actually find myself at this particular point with no purpose in this post. In fact, I am starting to wonder if I am just going through this as typing practice. Nah...

You know that could never happen...I have way too much to say, right??

Hmmm...now that I actually sit down to post, I really don't have all that much to say. Damn, that would be a first, huh?? Do the rest of you have this problem?? You sit down to write something and have a massive brain-fart... What the heck...

So, instead of continuing to go on about how I have lost all that I was going to write tonight, I will say "Goodnight, Heir Doctor"...

Whoever said "Out with the old, In with new" didn't belong to Facebook!!

I know, I know...they obviously did not have Facebook back then, but how the heck else am I supposed to get you to read what I have to say???

I'm sure you all have stories of being reunited with some old friend on Facebook...don't try to deny it, cuz ya know it is true!! I myself have a story of such a reunion...In January, I was reunited with a childhood friend whom I had not seen or spoken to in 25 years! Yes, that's right...25 years of no contact and we end up on Facebook together. As it turns out, she lived just a few miles from me for the first year and some change I was in Georgia. We spent time at the same park, shopped at the same store, and travelled the same roads, yet we never crossed paths. We have actually seen each other more now that she lives an hour away than we did when she was just around the corner! My Mom has even been reunited with my old friend's family as a result of the original contact.

So, tonight, I spent almost 2 hours on the phone with an old friend...a direct result of Facebook! This is a person I grew up with...a person who knows my family & friends...a person who I have shared many, many things with...a person I would trust with my life, even though I have not seen him in years...Brad, I am so glad to have finally been reunited with you!!! After 2 hours on the phone (like it was just yesterday since we spoke), I realized just how much of my life you were a part of!! I have looked and looked for you over the years, and I am so glad to have found you...or should I say, so glad you found me!!! I hope this is not one of those reunions that is all smoke and mirrors and empty promises at the beginning, because I really do believe Brad was a big part of making me who I am today!

Wow, that all seems really mushy, but I assure you all there is NOTHING to be afraid of...Ask the guy if you are concerned!!!

I gotta sign off now, but I would like to say...Brad, if you read this, I am so glad to have been reunited again!!!

Spongebob Roundpants??

I know there are many of you thinking, "What the heck? That girl needs to get out more." Well, let me explain...You all know my kids absolutely love to watch Spongebob. I mean, they will sit for hours and watch episodes they have seen over and over and over and...you get the idea. So there is a new episode on right now where Spongebob gets new pants, and it is called "Spongebob Roundpants". They are curvy instead of the typical box-like pants he normally wears. Anyway, the reason this is rather funny to me is that during the regular school year, I was cutting out sponges to be used for a painting project. I cut one into a circle and called it "Spongebob Circle-pants". The kids all thought it was hysterical. So, I am wondering now...did one of those sweet little 3 year olds steal my idea??? ;)

BTW, you are all probably right in thinking I need to get out more!

So, we live hundreds of miles from any of our nearest family members, and most of the time it really sucks. There are times when there is some silly drama going on where it is nice to be away from it all. However, I just found out today just how out of the loop we are by being so far from home. I was on the phone with my Mom this evening having the typical "catching up" kind of conversation when the following exchange takes place:

MOM: Shane leaves for Egypt tomorrow.
ME: What??
MOM: Shane leaves for Egypt tomorrow.
ME: He's doing what? (What I really want to say is "What the $%#! did you just say?")
MOM: Don't tell me you didn't know...I thought I told you.
ME: No, I didn't know.
MOM: Obviously Shane didn't tell you either, huh. Yeah, he is leaving for Egypt tomorrow for a week. He's doing some shooting outside of Cairo for a job.
ME: What in the world are you talking about?
MOM: I'm sorry, I thought you knew.
ME: (Yes, we have been over this part...I do not know about any of this) That's crazy man!
MOM: I know; He's really excited. (Really? Ya think??)
ME: Wow...

Anyway, apparently several weeks ago, my brother, Shane, got an offer to do a job in Egypt for a week. He owns his own business and does a lot of photography, film, and editing. I guess he had to get an expedited passport, a bunch of shots, and take a helicopter safety course before he can go. The whole point to my story is...How in the world can a family be so disjointed that I didn't know my brother is leaving the country for a part of the world that is a little on the scary side right now???

Is it wrong to body-slam a 10 year old??

I know, not a question you hear every day, right? So, you all know I have spent the last 4 weeks of my life with a room full of 8-10 year old boys (and the one brave girl...thanks again, Cait!), and we have kinda started to bond. Most of us, that is... Anyhoo, there are a couple of the guys who were so nice and shy and quiet at the beginning of camp that I have now discovered had me totally fooled! I think it was all part of some master plan. You know, the whole "Let's see how long it takes to gross-out, over-power, and be louder than the teacher." Guess what...they had no clue who they were dealing with! I grew up around boys, I live with 3 males, and I am trying to raise 2 boys to be men. So, after proving I can kick butt in a burping contest (nice, huh), can kick a ball high enough and far enough to elicit comments like "Wow, Mrs. Erin, that was awesome!", and that I don't mind being sweaty, I think these guys decided I was acceptable...and a great target.



By the way, the "Wow, Mrs. Erin, that was awesome!" statement has been made many times throughout camp as I continue to defend my title as "The Burp-master".



So, today, as the other parents were arriving to pick up their kids from camp, my group and I can be found in the Music Room beating the crap out of each other! Yes, you read that right...They had decided to use the little Nerf football and the many rubber bouncers as ammo against me. What started as a game of "Monkey in the Middle" (or "Keep-away" as us old-schoolers called it) turned into a massive conspiracy to get me. I mean, I had to totally take off my glasses, because I kept getting nailed in the face hard enough to knock them off! As I am totally pegging a kid with the Nerf football, his mother happens to walk by to pick up his little sister from another room. Now, I must say, his older brother was in the room trying to help me out...not that I needed it, but it was nice! Anyway, the chase managed to make it out into the hallway, where this child proceeded to tackle me outside the room his mother was in! It was so freakin funny, I had a hard time catching my breath long enough to get him back. As his mother walks into the room to claim him and his older brother, I am totally nailing him with one of those little hop-on bouncer things! I turn in time to see his mother's face, and have a moment of "OMG, what the *&#@ was I thinking?" As I am trying to come up with why exactly I am allowing this group to attempt to take over, she says to me "Go ahead, I can wait". How totally freaking awesome is that??? So, I proceed to pick this child up and body slam him (very gently) onto the floor as his Mom, brother, and little sister look on! Again, I say "nice, huh"!


Before you all begin wondering what type of lawsuits I may be facing, I must tell you what the response was to this action. "We mess around rough like that at home...I am so sorry." Can you believe that?? I just "Mann"-handled this child (insert the whole ba-da-dah thing), and his mother is telling me to go ahead!!! What a great world. Why can't more people be like this family?

Needless to say, I am a bit concerned about what tomorrow may bring, as it is the last day of Summer Camp. I proceeded to battle with a few of the kids after-hours today...these are TK's (teacher's kids)...and I have no doubt they will be ready and waiting for me in the morning! I just think it is really cool that the guys feel comfortable enough to allow me into their "inner circle".

BUT...that does NOT mean I am not jumping out of my skin with excitement that tomorrow is the last day of camp!!!

Calgon, take me away!

Man, what a day I had today! Thank God I only have 2 more days of this insanity they call "Summer Camp". My crew was completely out of control today...I actually found myself yelling at another person's child. This is something I swore I would never do, even as a teacher! But, you have to know this kid...he makes Dennis the Menace look like an angel...

Anyway, after dealing with that for 4 hours, I am greeted by my 5-year old baby. And, when I say "baby" I mean "baby" in the largest sense of the word! I swear...will that boy ever grow up?? (I know, there are those of you thinking, "Better watch it, because in a few years you will wish he was little again.") At this point, I can honestly say that I will never wish for this boy to be the way he is now. I have very distinct recollection of Brian cutting the cord when the child was born, but I was never warned it would grow back! I think the kid would be happy if he could get back inside the womb. I keep telling him, "I can't wait til you start Kindergarten." Does that make me a bad mother??

You guys all know my little man...the youngest (and should i say LAST) "Mann" in this family. So, you know I am by no means exaggerating his behavior...whining & crying when things don't go his way, whining & crying when something changes, whining & crying when things DO go his way...are you getting the pattern yet?? I feel sorry for the kid if (and when) this stuff comes out in Kindergarten! They are gonna eat him alive...poor guy...

Got that off my chest and out of my system for the day...thanks to all for letting me vent! On the subject of venting, I have one last thing to share for now...

So, I am driving to work this morning wondering why the heck I volunteered for this madness, and this moronic idiot pulls out of his neighborhood. Doesn't sound all that bad, right? Well, he pulls out in front of me and SLOWS DOWN. I mean, are you freaking kidding me right now??? Dude could have waited 2 seconds for me to go by, as there was not another car behind me for miles. So, it gets worse... I pull up behind him as close as possible (safely possible, that is) to let him know I was not too thrilled with his lack of road courtesy. Ya know what the *&%#er did??? He flips me off...ME...like it was my fault that he pulled out in front of me. This in itself would not have been all that bad, because I know idiots will always be idiots and maybe this guy is trying to make up for some other shortcoming...BUT the guy is in a Jeep with the top down, so it's wide open. As I am muttering about what an idiot the guy is (thinking I am being sneaky about it), the kids ask me "Mommy, what does it mean when somebody sticks that finger out at you??" Nice, huh...

So, just when you think your kids have been sheltered from learning "bad" things...think again. I thought my guys would only learn this kind of stuff from school and hanging out with their classmates. WRONG!!! There are way more than potholes out there to worry about when it comes to "road hazards"...

Am I Gonna Be One of "Those"???

So, here I sit, watching this silly Legends & Celebrity Softball Game during All-Star week, and I have the thought, "Am I one of those???" For those of you who don't know what I mean, I will do my best to explain...

I can't help but wonder if I am one of those people who do what everybody else is doing but SWEAR that I do it better??? You all know me and my "say it like it is" mentality, so I know you get what I am saying. For those of you who don't know me...your loss :) Seriously, though, for those of you who don't get what I am saying, please humor me...Please tell me my blog is the best thing you ever read...

Or not...

Because I still feel completely lost with this whole thing. I mean, am I supposed to tell you all my life story here, or am I just supposed to talk??? I love to talk, so I think you all may be in big trouble...I also don't want to be one of those people who post every 8.2 seconds...

SIDEBAR: Why the hell is Bob Knight playing 1st base in the All-Star Charity game???

Okay, back on track...

I have 3 days of Summer Camp left, and I couldn't be happier. I have thoroughly enjoyed the time I have spent with my summer camp group; however, I am so ready to be done with it all. It is really hard to entertain 9 boys (between 8-10) for 4 hours everyday without breaking any laws. (Especially since we are a Christian summer camp...) I must give Kudos to my sole female companion in all this testerone-driven madness...Cait, I love that you gave up your Mom to spend this time with me and all the crazy guys...

I really must sign off now (although I have accomplished nothing), because I need to figure out what the heck to do with the group tomorrow...

If you got it on tape, then that's what I said...

We are so bad about quoting movie lines. I could probably sum up our entire life with lines from various movies. It would be one of those compilation things...you know, many different people saying many differnt things. Anyway, I realized tonight I am not near as technoligically savvy as I thought I was, because I am having a hell of a time getting this whole blog thing up and running. Does that make me a complete moron???

At first, I so did not get the whole "blog" thing...Funny how after one post you are all of a sudden addicted. Amazing to be able to let go of life with a simple blog post! So, here I sit...a typical "Mann" Saturday night complete with Miller LIte, MarioKart, and the (now famous) E-Cig!!!

BTW, for those of you who don't know, I have been Nicotine free for 11 days!!! Okay, okay...I did cheat with a "real" cigarette last night, BUT I have not craved anymore since then! I love my new smoke-free life! It is so amazing how good things taste and smell!!! If you want to know what the hell I am talking about, drop me a line! In the mean time, I will continue to enjoy my newfound sense of smell & taste, and the ability to chase my kids without gasping for breath!!!! :D

So, I have unloaded for now and am going off to try to figure out how this whole thing works...Anybody with a tip, please let me know!! Peace out...

Bear with me...I am new to this :)

So, after following many blogs of family and friends, I decided to create one of my own. This will help keep you all up to date on my life as a "Mann". Yes, you read that right...I am a Mann!! I am the only female in a house full of testerone...both the full-fledged kind and the newly developing kind...It makes for a rather interesting life!! Christina, Julie, and Erin, you will all have to help me out with this as I get used to it, okay?? More to follow...Right now, I gotta add some personalization to this thing...