Think outside the box...

This is what i keep telling myself...



I have been stuck inside this "box" and can't seem to get out. You know, the whole 4-sided way of life...home, kids, work, & me. And, not necessarily in that order, but the "me" side always seems to come in 4th...a very distant 4th! Not that I should complain...I know there are many in a much stronger or more difficult "box" than mine.



Home...I can't seem to stay on top of the house. I'm sure a lot of that has to do with the fact that I have absolutely NO motivation to keep the house clean. There are clean sheets and towels in a pile on the guest bed that have been there for weeks. (Not that there is any hurry to get the room clean, as it looks as though it will be quite a while before that bed needs to be used.) The kids' playrooms (yes, that would be multiple playrooms) look like a bomb went off...I tried to blame it on the recent tropical storm that rolled through town, but had to remind myself the storm was OUTSIDE and not in my house! Although, you wouldn't know it by looking at my house!



And "Home" is not just about the condition of the house. My poor hubby has been just as neglected as the house. The poor guy has to deal with the stresses of an unstable work environment, bills, lack of funds to pay those bills, late rent checks every month, bills, a basket case for a wife, bills, car issues, and the list goes on. Oh, by the way, did I mention bills??? Anyhoo, in addition to keeping us safe, clothed, fed, and with a roof over our heads, he has to keep up with my ever-changing moods. He is so patient not to press or ask a ton of questions...he just lets me stay in my own little world. And, I know that despite the neglect, he will be there with open arms whenever I reach out to him for any kind of help or release.



Kids...Holy crap, where to begin on that subject! Sean is gonna be 9 in January, and Austin is gonna be 6. BUT...(now you didn't really think I'd get through a post without the "but") It seems as though we have a 20 year old and a 1 year old. Those kids are so much alike but SO completely different at the same time. I don't get it, and believe me I try to understand those two. Austin seems to be maturing at a negative rate, while Sean seems to be maturing double-time. I swear the boy (yes, the youngest) will never grow up. He's gonna be one of those 30-something guys that still lives at home! And Sean scares me with his ability to master anything gaming or computer related. I don't get how 2 kids can be so brilliant (and I do mean BRILLIANT), yet so dumb at the same time. Do I expect too much of the guys? Who the heck knows...But I still maintain they must speak a different language than I do, because when I speak it seems to either go unheard or misunderstood due to language barriers??? I suppose I should take the optimistic outlook and assume I am raising 2 future rocket scientists or perhaps the next "Bill Gates"...



Work...Man, that is an entirely separate blog post in itself. This has most definitely been a very bizarre year. And it is only November! I know I have been lacking in the blogging department, but I will produce something very shortly regarding this 3rd side of my "box".



Me...What the heck is that?? Who the heck am I??? I am still at a total loss. I love my life (most of the time), so it is very hard for me to understand why I am in the mental, emotional, and physical state I am in... I consider myself EXTREMELY lucky to have the life I have...a great husband, a nice house, 2 beautiful kids, a job, and good health...who could ask for anything more, right? Than why do I constantly feel as though I am missing something? I have definitely had my share of the "hard knock life" ( a little Shirley Temple reference for those of you who didn't pick up on it...and not the little drink with a cherry on top!), but I feel as though I have managed to overcome and emerge a stronger woman as a result. Yet, I feel very weak at times...sometimes like a total failure. Perhaps the problem is not with the other 3 sides of this "box"...perhaps the real problem is that I expect way too much of myself??

Once again, I started typing with a purpose and a message...and once again, I find myself completely derailed and at a complete loss. I honestly have no freakin' clue why I started this post. I can say, with all honesty, that I do feel a bit better just getting it out in the open. So, while this was not my most clever or humorous post, I'd like to thank those of you who stuck with it...I guess the brainiacs at AA are right. The first step really is admitting you have a problem!

But (see, there it is yet again!), maybe the reason behind all this can be blamed on menopause or some sort of woman's mid-life crisis? Not that I am going through menopause, but it would be nice to blame the moods on something! Is 36 too young to be pre-menopausal?? I'm not quite 36 yet, but a fast-approaching b-day will change that...and could be causing some sort of mid-life crisis. Do women even have those?

Again, I feel as though I have no right to complain about anything! After all, I have friends facing layoffs, divorce, death, illness, and so many things much worse than what I am dealing with...

And, it goes without saying (for those of you who know me, anyway) that the title of this post is making me crave Taco Bell in a major way!!!

Halloween or Halloweenie???

So, I am having this massive internal debate about the upcoming Halloween holiday. Hang tight for a few while I give a bit of background on this particular musing...


Each year, I decorate the front porch for Halloween. And, I go ALL out! I'm talking black lights, glow-in-the-dark spiderwebs, skeletons, bones, tombstones, ghosts, & even a "Scream" dude sitting in the corner. I also have a strobe light flashing inside the house and a fog machine outside. I am known in our current neighborhood (and the last 2 neighborhoods we've lived in) for my Halloween displays. I am typically out with the kids, but the hubby has reported many instances of kids refusing to come up on the porch. Instead they beg their parents to ring the bell to collect the candy. BTW, I usually have GOOD candy...none of that chewy, hard, boring stuff. I go for the Snickers, Reese's, Hershey's, etc. I can't help it...I have an addiction! If I'm gonna have leftover candy, I want it to be good sh*t...not the nasty, leftover from last Halloween sh*t a lot of people hand out...

BUT...(ya know, it's been a while since I had a "but" in a post)...Anyhoo, once again I seem to be venturing off track. Big shock, I know ;)

To add to the front porch display, I am a little over-the-top about the kids' costumes. If I cannot send them out in something that is the "best" or extremely unique, I get a little concerned. For example, last year they went as Mario and Luigi...I made the costumes (even to the point of using dye to get the right color), and the boys looked awesome!





So, this year, they want to be rapper/gangsta/rock star kinda-lookin' "dudes"...Originally, the eldest wanted to be "Batman", and the youngest wanted to be a "Policeman". (Of course, I am thinking, "Where the heck did you ever see Batman???") Needless to say, I was a bit surprised...I thought for sure they would say they wanted to be "Spongebob and Patrick" or "Tom & Jerry", since those are their 2 most favorite shows. A week later, they inform me of this whole rapper/gangsta/rock star change. What??? Who the heck have they been talking to??? How in the world do you go from "Batman" or "policeman" to the whole rapper/gangsta/rocker thing??? Maybe they are just trying to "represent" in our neighborhood? I know, I know...maybe not the most PC thing I have ever put into print, but it is the truth and oh, so accurate...

Once again, I am venturing off on some weird side road...

Back to my original reason for writing (typing??) tonight...

Every year, the kids start to P&M ( that would be piss and moan, for those of you who don't know me) about the whole trick-or-treat thing. Seriously, after about 4 houses, they are whining and wanting to go back home. Now, to their defense, about 1 of every 4 houses in our neighborhood actually answer the door on Halloween, so I can easily see how they get bored/discouraged/tired quickly. Add the whole "hit or miss" thing to the fact that our 'hood is very hilly, and I can see how they'd get tired quick. BUT...(I know, there it is again...) they love, love, LOVE the candy!! Gee...I wonder where they get that addiction??? ;)

SOOOOO...thank you for hanging around this long, considering the fact I have yet to ask the million dollar question of the day...

This year, I had the brilliant idea to "skip" Halloween. Before you all fall on the floor in shock, let me explain. We typically spend way too much on Halloween when you add in costumes (even if homemade) and candy...plus whatever new thing I add to the front porch. This year we are not quite in a position to continue with tradition. I have all the stuff to decorate, but that means we have to have the candy to back it up. This is something I am not sure we are in a position to do...

I came up with the idea to take what I would have spent on costumes and candy and put it into something lasting. I want to give the kids a choice: "I can buy you a costume and we'll trick-or-treat like every year....OR, I can take the same $$, and we'll go to the store for you to pick whatever you want for that same amount."

My question is this: I am a bad Mom for even suggesting such a bizarre idea??

I've been working on the railroad...

Not really, but I have been working on building knowledge in 10 little 3-year old minds! It has been a long while since my last post, and so many things have happened since I last wrote. I have yet to write about my trip to Cape Cod, and that was almost a month ago. OMG! A month??? Where did the time go...

Between acts of my Mother, Mother Nature, and the Mother of all sinus infections, I haven't worked a full week in 4 weeks! I guess one can never have too many Mother's in their lives, huh?? Confused yet??? I assure you, I can explain...

I went to Cape Cod with my Mother for 4 days in mid-September, and I missed 2 days of work which resulted in a 3-day work week for me. I'll post on the trip another time... Mother Nature was kind enough to replenish the water supply in the greater Atlanta and North Georgia area, ending a long drought. Doesn't sound so bad, right? Well, not only did she refill the lakes, rivers, ponds, streams, etc., but she also filled streets, homes, businesses, etc. with rainfall totalling over 22" in just a couple days. This,too, resulted in a 3-day work week, as schools were closed for 2 days. The following week (week #3), I missed 2 days of work with the Mother of all sinus infections. I had what the Doc called a bacterial sinus infection. (As opposed to what? Aren't most - if not all - infections caused by some sort of bacteria?? And, I didn't even have to go to med-school to figure that one out. Oh well...) Anyhoo, I ran fever and just felt like total crap for 2 days, again resulting in a 3-day work week.

By this time, I think my kids at school were probably forgetting what I looked like...I know they forgot the class rules, routines, etc.

On to the next week (this would be week #4), which happens to be the current week. The local school system is blessing us with a 4-day weekend! Not sure what the occasion is, but I will certainly not argue with the time off! The "teacher furloughs" as the teacher of my youngest calls this break, will result in back-to-back 4-day work weeks! When all is said and done, I will go a total of 5 weeks in a row without working a full week. Gonna be rough when things go back to normal!!

In the midst of all these bizarre work weeks, I have also taken on a 3rd child! Not literally, OF COURSE (for those of you who know me, this is kind of stating the obvious!), but I am watching a 2-year old little girl after school 3 days a week. She is a student at my school, and one of the cutest little girls I have ever had the pleasure to know. She is your typical, laughter and smile inducing 2-year old. She is also very particular in the way she likes things at naptime. I suppose some of her actions stem from the way her first visit to our house went, but I also have been told from a pretty reliable source that this is normal behavior for this child. So, here's a brief rundown of the pre-nap preparations:

"Can we play for just 5 minutes?"
ME: Okay, but only 5 minutes, and then you need to go lay down.
(5 minutes goes by...) "I just wanna play for 5 more minutes, okay?"
ME: No, we need to go upstairs and get ready for nap. I'll put the Teletubbies on for you for 5 minutes.
"Okay...Where's the books?"
ME: They are already upstairs.
"Where's the cards and Tigger?"
ME: They are still upstairs from last time you were here.
"Heeeeyyyyy, what's that?"
ME: No more toys, it's time to go upstairs.
"Okay. I do it by myself" (Meaning she wants to carry whatever new objects she has collected up the stairs by herself)

So, we get up the stairs and put all the necessary items into the bed in all of their designated places...And after about 10 minutes of discussing where everything is and where I should lay to read a book, I finally get her to close her eyes and go to sleep. The entire process takes anywhere from 30-40 minutes. Now, here's the good part...below is a list of the items that go to bed with this child, who I have renamed "Hector the Collector" (after a Shel Silverstein poem):

• A Backyardigans book with little magna-doodle drawing thing attached
• A "Cars" book with the same type of magna-doodle thing attached
• A Thomas book with push-button sounds
• A "How to Tie Your Shoes" book complete with laces
• A handful of Uno cards
• A HUGE stuffed Tigger (about as tall as she is) that talks when you push his tummy
• A toy stethoscope
• And various other items, depending on the day (one day this past week, she took a box of Dora bandaids)

And the whole thing is rather humorous, because she goes through the same rituals every day!! Oh, and I almost forgot to mention that the hubby is soon going to wonder if I am having an affair. He comes home 3 days a week to find a Tigger lounging in the bed... LOL Never know, those stripes and bouncy tail are kinda hot...

Anyway, I am quite sure I am on the verge of losing my mind...I say this because I spend 5 days a week with a roomful of 3-year old children. Then, I come home to my own insanely wild boys. And I voluntarily take on a 2-year old??? What the heck am I thinking...

I can answer that one, too. I love the kids!! Each of my students holds a special place in my heart and mind, and this newest addition to my life has taken a very strong hold! I am honored to be given the opportunity to help shape the lives of our future doctors, lawyers, politicians, teachers, etc. I can only hope they will someday realize they were just as important to my life as I was to theirs!

What is it about Texas???

So, I just spent the last several hours watching my beloved Longhorns on ABC's Saturday Night College Showdown, and I must say I have probably aged at least 5 years. Aren't Saturday nights supposed to be relaxing? All week, I have heard more about this Texas / Texas Tech "rematch" than I care to comment about...BUT, I have to admit it definitely lived up to its billing. This game was perhaps more stressful than last year's unfortunate game. I still think the Texas defense should have either committed pass interference or the unsportsmanlike conduct penalties to avoid that freakin TD by Michael Crabtree...

Anyway, that was then, and this is now...and for now I am a happy camper. My Horns are 3-0 (1-0 in conference play). Woohoo...Hook 'Em!!!

You all know I love me some football - college and pro - and you know where to find me on Saturday and Sunday during the greatest season of the year. I love Spring and all those other "traditional" seasons, but my favorite time of year is the stretch between August and February. This is when both the NFL and NCAA Football are in full swing...

So, today, I am watching the Georgia/Tennessee game when Sean asks if he can play the Wii. It was halftime, and I was in the kitchen - out of site of the TV - fixing a snack. So, here's a brief rundown of the conversation:

SEAN: Hi, Mom, how are you?
ME: I'm fine, thanks...how are you?
SEAN: Whatcha doin?
ME: Fixin a snack
SEAN: Ummm, can I play the Wii?
ME: No
SEAN: Why?
(Cuz, ya know when a parent says "no" it doesn't matter...a kid will always ask why...)
ME: No...I'm watching a football game.
SEAN: There's no football on now, and you are in here...
ME: (Still wondering why I am justifying me original "no" response) I'm watching the game
SEAN: Why?
ME: Because I like football.
SEAN: Then why don't you play?
ME: Because grown-up girls do not play football on TV.
SEAN: Then why do you watch?
ME: Because I like it...

Anyhoo...like many other posts, I am not quite sure what I was trying to accomplish by writing, but I did (and still do) find the previous exchange with my son humorous.

Why is that we, as parents, feel the need to explain or justify our every action and decision to our kids??? At what point did society turn the kids into the "Alpha" member of the family??

Is a 'Missing Persons" report necessary??

So, I have been feeling (and acting, as I am sure many of you have noticed) a little out of sorts lately. My question is, do I need to file a missing persons report?

Please hang tight as I make an attempt to explain...

I know many of you are moms - some of you are SAHM's, some are working moms, and some of you are like me in that you are home when your kids are, but you do work outside the home as well. Wow, only a few lines into this post, and I am already confused... ;) Anyway, I have been wondering lately, "Where is Erin?" You know, kinda like "Where's Waldo" or "Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?"...But, those are fictional. My issue is quite real, and I suspect it is the question that keeps many of you awake at night.

Or, I could be totally wrong and just a victim of a distorted time/space continuum...

(That last line is a reference to "Back to the Future" for those who did not get it...I am smart, but not that smart! Sorry...I tend to use humor as a coping mechanism... I know, I'm a dork. BUT, if ya can't make fun of yourself, who can you make fun of, right? Actually, you could make fun of a lot of people, you just can't broadcast it the way I just did. Seriously, just go to Wal-Mart on any given day and get an instant ego-boost. It does make me wonder when people stopped putting mirrors in their homes...Hmmm??? Anyhoo, I have managed to venture way off track again, so I will end this particular batch of rambling and continue with the original mission.)

The only way I have been able to describe the aforementioned condition is that "I'm just in a funk." I am quite confident some of you have felt this same way in the not so distant past.

I work outside the home, but I am here to see my kids off to school and to greet them when they get home. Spending the day with 10 children between the ages of 3 and 4 is quite exhausting, but I can honestly say that I look forward to it everyday. Crazy, I know, but it is actually true... Wow, did I just put that in print??? Seriously, I look forward to going to work...I love the social interaction (I am a bit of a "social butterfly"...oh, and I like to talk!), the 10 minute drive that gives me time to myself, the smiles, hugs, and laughs of children when they walk in my room each day...I love to hear, "Hi, Mrs. Erin...I love you." or "Good Morning, Mrs. Erin, I missed you." I love to have a parent tell me they hear nothing but good things from their child about my class. These are the things that get me through the work day...

Even more, I love to hear one of my kids (and I am talking about the 2 that I gave birth to) tell me, "I love you, Mommy. I am so lucky to have such a good family." I love the hugs and kisses in the morning before they get on the bus, and then again after the bus drops them off in the afternoon. I like that they want me there each and every night to put them to bed. I like the feeling that I am going to fall over when one of the boys comes running at me out of nowhere to give me a hug. While I don't like the smell of sweaty, little boys ( kinda reminds me of a wet dog), I love the smiles on their faces when they have had a good day out with Mother Nature.

So...why is it that I feel so disjointed? I am asked, "Who are you? What do you like to do in your free time?" Questions like that really throw me for a loop, because I honestly do not know how to answer. I know what I used to like and who I used to be, but all of those things have changed. My priorities have changed. I know, I know...that's kind of a given when you have kids. BUT, I am curious as to why nobody ever speaks of this change. Did Dr. Spock write about it in a book that I failed to read?? I am often asked, "Are you okay?" Do I really come across as being that far off???

So, to skip a bunch of psycho-babble and Kleenex-inducing thoughts, I will wrap this particular post. I do thank those of you who made it to the end, and I will certainly post a more smile or laughter-inducing tale next time...

I do realize I did not quite express all that I set out to, but it is late and I have much to do...

Okay, not really, but it sounded good as I was writing it (typing?)...

BTW, as far as the whole "Back to the Future" reference...if movie writers can come up with that type of advanced technology, shouldn't the real brains in our country be able to come up with a way to reduce our fuel intake? I mean, seriously...Doc Brown ends up running a vehicle/time machine on banana peels, and we can't figure out a way to run a car without supporting the Middle East??? Hello....

Am I a victim of selective hearing or just plain old being ignored??

Do you ever have those moments where you honestly think you MUST speak a different language than your children?? What other explanation is there for the blank stares and ignorance?? I know, most of you are moms, so you of course understand what I am saying.

I am so totally threatening to make a voice recording of myself saying some very key phrases. This way, when I am being ignored, I won't lose my voice trying to get the kids to listen. I can just set the voice recording somewhere centrally located in the house...hmmm, maybe even get some sort of intercom to broadcast the words throughout the house. You know, it would include things like:

• Stop yelling
• No running
• Quit hitting your brother
• Stop saying butt, poop, fart, wiener, tee-tee, etc. (These would be recorded in individual lines though.)
• Quit playing and eat
• Turn that down
• Stop whining (Gee, I wonder who that one would be targeted at???)
• Stop crying (see above thought...)
• Stop being such a baby (again, targeted at a specific person)
• Brush your teeth
• Get in bed

And so many others, I might have to upgrade the iPod to hold it all! For example, my eldest came home from school today saying, "Hi, I'm Fart Laser." Nice, huh?? Anyway, he said it about 15 times within 2 minutes of being in the house. So, as I sat here saying, "That's nasty, don't say that." and "Stop saying that." and "Seriously, I don't want to hear it anymore.", the child just keeps bouncing around saying it over and over. I must have finally gotten my voice loud enough that he heard me on some level, because he shortened it to, "Hi, I'm F.L.!!" Little s***...I so wanted to smack him!

Then, there are those times the kids will ask you for something and not wait to hear the answer. So, as you are answering the original question, it is asked again. Only this second time it is with much more volume and added emphasis to the "Mom". When I try to explain that I have already answered that very question (usually more than once), I get that blank stare. So, of course I am thinking whatever they have asked for must not be all that important if it has already been forgotten. So, I will double-check to make sure the kid still wants the snack or popsicle or drink or whatever before opening the requested item and handing it over.

Even better, are the times you ask (for example), "What do you want to drink with dinner, lemonade or milk?" Only to be completely ignored as they try to decide what the "reward" is for whoever finishes eating first. BTW, that is another thing I would add to the voice recording, "It's not a race. It doesn't matter who finishes first." Anyway 5 minutes into dinner the whining begins, "Mom, my throat is burning, and I don't have anything to drink." So, I will ask again, "Do you want lemonade or milk?" No answer...(insert the whole crickets chirping sound effect here)... So, a few more minutes pass, "Moooom, I am so thirsty I think I am drying up inside." Oh please!! I thought only girls were supposed to be drama queens.

Anyway, you get the idea, since this goes on almost nightly in probably every household in America. I remember my mother telling people when we were younger that we had "selective hearing". I wonder if it is some sort of birth issue that goes away with age (except in the case of the male population where the problem seems to intensify...LOL). Even as I type this, I am being given the blank stare when I ask my child (for about the 30th time) to quit being nosey and to go away til I am finished.

So before I sign off to go get in his face (where I will be able to see if he is listening or not), I must tell you that I firmly believe this voice recording will become very handy in my classroom, too...

What a difference a day makes...

...or a week, as it is in my case!

Last week was my first week back to work, and I was really looking forward to a 3-day work week. As it turns out it was a great week (with 5 very sweet kids), and I have to admit I did sleep most of Monday and Friday! It was so nice to put the kids on the 7:15 bus (yes, that would be AM) and go back to bed!!

Sidebar: That aforementioned 7:15 bus takes the kids a whopping 2 miles!! And the first bell doesn't ring until 8:15...What the heck, man...Why so early???

Anyway, as the title says, "What a difference a day makes...". (Does anybody else remember that song?? Was it from a commercial or something?? Help me out here, people.) So, I got the call yesterday (Monday #2 of the school year...and, yes, I was asleep when the call came!) asking if I still wanted to teach 5 days a week. Well, here's where I was really torn in my response. The additional pay of a 5-day week versus a 3-day week is awesome and, as it happens, very necessary...BUT (sorry, can't have a post without one of those pesky "buts"), I was totally enjoying the whole Mon./Fri. spent in pajamas. (Okay I know, I always run around in my "pajamas"...just a technicality for lack of better words) Last year I taught 5 days and LOVED it, but that was all I knew. This year started as only 3 days, and I will admit that it was kind of cool.

Okay okay, enough of me typing out my internal mental issues regarding the school week and back to the topic at hand...

So as I was saying, "What a difference a day makes...". Today started week #2 of my school year, and I had a room full...and when I say full, I mean FULL...of 3 year old boys and girls. Last week's group more than doubled, and I now find myself responsible for 11 children each day. I couldn't be more thrilled that these parents entrust their children's care, development, early education, etc. to me, but...holy cow...what a complete change! I know I will get used to the larger group, and I have already adjusted my lesson plans for the next couple weeks to allow for the change. (I think it's necessary for the kids and for me too, to have a bit more time getting used to the class, the larger group, the new rules and new routines.) So, here's how my day went:

• My original 5 kids were highly confused as to the sudden influx of extra little bodies.
• The new ones were thrilled to find new toys to play with...and perhaps highly confused as to the sudden change in environment.
• There were 2 children that I was completely in the dark about when/if they were going to start.
• There was one VERY new student who didn't want Mommy & Daddy to leave and made it very clear (very loudly clear) to the whole school.
• My group time (or circle-time, as I call it) started 40 minutes later than I prefer, and many representations of mass chaos occurred during this time.
• The kids all LOVED snack time, and I think it was the only time all day they were all in one place at one time!
• I think I cleaned 48 runny noses, wiped 87 dirty hands and faces, hugged 24 sad/upset/angry/confused/happy/cute/injured kids, and thought, "What the heck was I thinking?" about 942 times...And, this is just the first day of my newly enlarged class size.

So, I won't continue to bore you with the minutia of my day; however, I do have some major gripes on the day...

If you tell me your child is potty trained, please explain to me why they will crap in their underwear within minutes of exiting the bathroom...And, if said child is truly trained, explain why that child feels the need to completely strip down (shorts, underwear, socks and shoes) in an effort to clean themselves, without telling me they need help...And, please explain to me why this same "potty trained" child then proceeds to dump the crap into the toilet, flush the toilet, then "wash" the crappy underwear in the toilet...And, tell me why this same child proceeds to run out of the bathroom into the classroom naked from the waist down and start playing with the toys...

Oh, but the real laughter and shock value didn't come until said child turned around and proudly displayed a trail of toilet paper stuck in the butt-crack...

Oh yes, any of you who have ever spent more than 2 minutes around a young child understand how hard it is to control laughter in front of such impressionable young minds. Well, let me tell ya, this was not one of those moments of contained laughter. It was just so freakin' funny to see a kid running around half naked with a string of TP hanging like some sort of fancy train - you know, like on a wedding dress...

I can honestly say it is a first for me, and I have raised 2 boys through massive potty training issues. I have spent time around many other children in that age group, whether it be family, friends or students. And, I am so thankful the rest of my class was not in sight at the time...Can you imagine??? "Hey, mommy guess what? One of my new friends was playing with toys and had no clothes on...and they forgot to take off the toilet paper." Oh yeah, real nice image to send home, don't ya think???

I could go on and on, but I think that's a great place to end this particular post...

(No pun intended!)

I am tired of the "PC" world in which we live...

...and I am not talking about computers!

Seriously, is anyone else out there done with walking on eggshells all the time?? I mean, we have opened our borders to people of all walks of life for hundreds of years. We have NEVER asked them to conform or give up their cultures, heritage, or history. I am all for the "melting pot" concept our country was founded on...but (see, there it is again)...don't ya think the double standards are getting a little old??

I mean, I don't go to Mexico and threaten lawsuits if my waiter doesn't speak English...I don't go to Canada and stage a protest because the French language is offensive to me...I would never go to the Middle East and threaten to bomb the place because the schools won't let me wear shorts and a t-shirt. Are ya getting my point?? But (there it is again!), these people all come here and do the exact things I am talking about, and we adapt our laws! How messed up is that??

I think the US is the only country in the world without a national language. The majority of the people in this country speak English, so why not set that as the national language of this great nation? Why do I have to pay higher taxes, so the public school system can afford to pay ESL teachers? Shouldn't English be taught as the first language, not as a second language? I have no problem with speaking your native tongue, but do it at home. Don't force me and my family to alter our education, work habits, shopping habits, etc. because you don't know English.

Before I say anything else, please let me answer a few questions that may be running through your mind right now. NO, I am not a racist or a white-supremacist. YES, I live in a very culturally diverse area of town. YES, I am friends with my neighbors and coworkers, regardless of their backgrounds. (And this includes Nigerians, Peruvians, Brits, and Indians.) YES, I enjoy learning and experiencing these different cultures. My point is that I am tired of being forced to watch what we say or do for fear of a lawsuit or military attack.

I firmly support building a wall around our borders. Not as a means of keeping immigrants out, but as a means of keeping them out ILLEGALLY. Feel free to come to this country in an effort to live the "American dream", but do it through the proper channels. Take the classes, learn our history, learn English, become citizens, get a job, pay taxes, etc...These things are all part of OUR culture.

I am tired of all the illegals in this country getting free education, free housing, free health care, etc...free for them anyway, as the real Americans in this country are footing the bill. And now our President is trying to include them in the next national census and to provide even more health care coverage. Am I the only one who sees a problem with this plan???

I realize I am venting and may not be making any new friends with these words, but I am struggling, too. I am having a hard time paying my bills and putting food on the table and providing good health care for my family. The difference is, I am a REAL American...I cherish the freedoms we have in this country. I refuse to "milk the system" simply because it is there and I can. I am not going to sit on my butt all day with the assumption that I am "entitled" to and the governement will take care of me. Get real, folks...we are headed in a really scary direction...

The Constitution of the United States of America was written with purpose and has worked just fine for over 200 years...why in God's name would anybody want to change that now???

On that note, I will sign out for the time being...but I have one last thing to say:

God Bless America!!

"We've only just begun..."

"to live...white lace and promises..." Okay, I am no Karen (sp?) Carpenter, but I do like that song. Anyhoo, the reason breaking out in song is today I am celebrating my 8th wedding anniversary. Brian and I were married in Gatlinburg, TN 8 years ago, today. It has been an ever-changing, sometimes rough, but always fun ride. Brian, if you are reading this, I love you!! Thank you for 8 great years of marriage...I can't wait to see what the next 8 years bring.

You know how you hear those stories of "love at first sight"?? Well, ours was not quite that much of a fairy-tale. We were coworkers from 2 different parts of the country who happened to get promotions/transfers to Nashville within a week of each other back in 1999. Believe it or not, his apartment was over my garage in the same apartment complex!! Little scary, huh?? If you believe in fate, this story is for you.

Anyway, we got along great and became fast friends. (We were both involved with other people at the time, or I suspect we would have been together even sooner.) Many months later, we went to dinner...I knew at the end of that night that Brian was the man I wanted to spend my life with! I think he knew it, too, but it took him a little longer to acknowledge the fact. We started hanging out a lot...bowling, watching basketball games, lunches, dinners, happy hour and shooting pool... We were having a great time with our new found friendship (love??).

And, to make a long story short, here we are...8 years of marriage, 2 kids, 3 houses, a cat, and a new state to call "home" later! They always say things happen for a reason...perhaps our meeting was predetermined?? (Who are "they" by the way??)

Are you ready for some football???

The annual NFL Hall of Fame Game just finished up on this lovely Sunday evening...and I could not be more thrilled!! No, not thrilled that it is over, but thrilled because it means the newest installment of NFL football is right around the corner. I know, most of you are thinking, "Oh, great, this means my husband is gonna be glued to the TV for the next few months." BUT...(see, there's that "but" I always have)...In my house, this is such a good thing! Seriously, we LOVE football in this house...preseason, regular season, college, pro...you name it and we are probably watching! And, the completion of the HOF game means the "official" preseason starts in a matter of hours...And, the start of the "official" preseason means it is only a matter of hours (okay, weeks, but who's counting) until the completion of preseason football...And, the completion of preseason football means the start of regular season football...

And so on and so forth...

Anyhoo, this means I can quit watching crappy TV at night, because I will have a ball game or two to watch a few nights a week!! Yippee...

So, my Titans looked pretty good in the game this evening, and I can only hope that they will continue the success of last season. There have been several changes made to the roster...some good, some bad, but all in all they are in for a pretty good year.

Okay, I know you are not here for the latest in the NFL (that's what ESPN is for, right?), so I will try to keep posts football-free from this point forward.

Tomorrow is the first day of school for the boys...and of course, all the other thousands of kids who also reside in our county! As of 11:00 PM on Sunday, I am taking bets...for what, you ask??? Well, the "little" one is so excited to ride the bus with his big brother. (I really think that's the only reason he is excited about starting school.) Well, I am about 90% sure the boy will refuse to get on the bus in the morning. Those of you who know the child are probably applauding me for my optimism...probably thinking it's more like 100-200% that he won't get on the bus... LOL It's a good thing the bus comes early, that way I have plenty of time to dry up the tears (his, not mine) and drive him to school.

Oh man, did I just say I am glad something is happening early??? What the heck...something has to be wrong with me!! For real, though, we have to be out and ready to catch the bus at 7:15. Yes, that is AM! Can you believe that??? What type of insanity is this...These kids are in elementary school, not high school or taking college classes. School doesn't start until 8:15...what are they gonna do with my kids for an hour??? We live 2 miles from the school... Two miles!! I mean, I could walk to the school in less than an hour, and they want my kids that early?? Crazy!!

So, I am signing off for now, but I promise to have LOTS to post tomorrow, as I am quite sure my kids will have had an interesting first day of school.

Oh, yeah, anybody want to make a bet as to whether or not Mom (that would be me) wakes up on time??? You bet I will...I'll be kickin' them out the door before sun-up!! LOL I will also take bets as to whether or not Mom (yep, still me) stays awake after the kids are off to school...

Gotta love technology...

So, I am sitting outside with the laptop managing my Facebook account, playing Farkle, chatting with a coworker, talking in person to the hubby, and listening to the Sirius 80's channel on our wireless speakers...

On top of all that technology, we have the sounds of Mother Nature in stereo, too...crickets, birds, frogs, the crackle of the torches, and the clink of ice against glass in our adult beverages. Okay, so the adult beverage is not necessarily a product of nature, but still part of the whole ambiance...maybe??

And, why the heck are birds up at this hour??

"Thriller" is on now, and I have the strong desire to get up and do "the dance"...ya know the zombies with the hands in the air?? Gina, you know what I'm talking about...you and your kids do it quite well!

Anyway, I think it's funny that we have the capability to do all this wireless stuff, keep up with what the neighbors are doing without looking out the window, stay on top of current events, criticize anyone and anything, and all the other stuff that happens by the second in this country...BUT (yes, I always have a "but") we can't manage our country's finances, lifestyles, borders, social programs, etc??? Anybody got any ideas on this one?

I must say that our parents always felt sorry for how tough it was for my generation to grow up in the era we did...with the drugs, drinking, sex, disease, etc. so readily available...I gotta tell ya, I would much rather my kids be drinking and having sex than running from terrorists and waiting in line for the doctor and repaying a debt they had nothing to do with...

This was once a great and powerful country, but it seems lately we are so worried about what everybody else thinks that we forget what our own citizens think. People come to this country to "live the good life". That's great, but let's not cause the rest of us to have hard times in an effort to give those people every thing their hearts desire.

Okay, I am really climbing high on the soapbox now...gonna step down, because I don't want this to turn into a political bashing blog...

And, I am gonna wrap this one up...although I have accomplished nothing...because I find it very difficult to type and maintain Facebook at the same time!! More later, I promise!!

Time flies when you are having fun...

But, it really flies when you are getting old!!! Although, I guess in some way getting old is kinda fun. Okay, maybe not, but I don't want to start out sounding like a pessimist!!

Not that I am all that old, but lately things are going on to make me feel really old!! Today, my best friend's daughter got her driver's license. Yeah, I know, right?? When I met this girl, she was so tiny and would crawl into my lap to snuggle. Well, she's still tiny but, oh, so grown up at the same time. Anyway, she was 5 years old when her mom and I became great friends. I was lovingly referred to as "Daddy Erin" for many years of this child's life. Her sperm donor (okay, fine, her father) was not in the picture, and I was often called in to help out with sensitive issues. Anyway, skip forward a bunch of years, and this child - now, a young woman - holds a special place in my heart. So, I am so proud of her for accomplishing one of life's many milestones! SLR, "Congratulations!! I love you."

Speaking of life's milestones...my youngest Mann is starting Kindergarten next week. Double whammy, huh??

Wow, there's another reference that makes me feel really old. Do y'all remember the game show called "Press Your Luck"? You know, the little gremlin-lookin' thing would come out with the evil laugh and steal the contestants' money...The contestants would take their "spin" and sit and chant "No whammy, no whammy"...Any takers on that one...anyone, anyone??? (Of course the "anyone, anyone" makes me think of "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"...yet another of those "I'm dating myself" thoughts)...

Back to the youngest Mann...So, Austin starts kindergarten on Monday, and it still feels like last week that we brought him home from the hospital. (Maybe because he still acts like it was just last week...) He says he is ready, and I say I am ready for him to go...BUT...it still makes me feel really old. I can't believe my "baby" is going off to "big boy school". I honestly think he only wants to go, because he can ride the big bus with his brother! (LOL) You know all little boys want to ride on big trucks, trains, and buses...at least, both of mine did! Today in the car he asked his brother, "Sean, can I sit by you on the bus?" And his brother's response... "Everybody's gonna see and hear all the mean things you do to me." OMG...are you kidding me right now?? Their school is 2 miles from our driveway, and the eldest is worried about what the "Little Mann" might do...What is wrong with this picture??

Okay, I keep rambling and going off track...yet another sign I am getting old, right??? LMAO!! (Mom Mann, keep your mouth shut on that one)

Tomorrow is orientation and open house at the boys' school. I am kinda excited to see Austin's reaction to his new classroom. For the last 3 years he has been at the same school, and the last year he was going with me everyday as I went to work. It should be very interesting...BUT...I know, there's that "but" again...I am hoping the kids in kindergarten will force him to get over the whole baby act. I swear if he keeps it up everyday, they are gonna tear him up... The eldest moves to 3rd grade this year. He is excited, because his class moves upstairs this year! Oh yeah, he's in the big time now!! Weird as it sounds, that kinda makes me feel old, too. You know, your baby is sent UPSTAIRS to school everyday...so far from the clinic and the principal and the front doors...okay, I am done.

Boys will be boys...

Why is it that my kids feel the need to pee at the same time?? Do other siblings do this type of thing?? Obviously, those of you with little girls will say "no"...at least I hope you say "no", otherwise we need to have a little chat!! LOL Seriously, any of you with 2 or more boys at home (or if you know anyone with boys who do this), please let me know what your thoughts are on this one...

So, my eldest has a new Wii game that he just couldn't live without...he spent his own money to get it, so I guess I shouldn't complain too much. However, he has spent the better part of 2 days since acquiring said game in front of the TV. Now, this is both good and bad at the same time...good, because the little one LOVES to watch him play new games; bad, because they both end up spending way too much time staring at the television. Anyway, those of you who read the last post know the way my eldest is while playing the Wii...constantly moving, turning around to see who is watching, etc. Well, he has a tendency to ignore the "biological breaks" that our bodies require on a regular basis. In other words, he has mastered the art of gaming and doing the "tee-tee" dance at the same time. It is true...he'll sit wiggling around and squeezing his legs together forever instead of pausing his game to go pee. (Go ahead and laugh, but you know your kids do the same thing while playing games or watching TV.)

Okay, I know...that doesn't sound all that weird for a kid to do, especially one who is engrossed in some activity or another. However, my kids are a minor exception to that common occurrence. As I stated previously, the youngest Mann likes to watch the eldest while he is gaming. So, by association, he will ignore the same "biological breaks" that the eldest ignores. Seriously??? I mean, when ya gotta go, ya gotta go...right? (Okay, I can't count myself in that last one, because I have been known to "hold it" forever.) But... These are young boys with bladders that aren't fully developed yet, so they do not have the same level of control that we, as mothers, do. Alright, enough of the anatomy lesson and background...back to the matter at hand. So, the eldest is in full fledged wiggle-mode when he suddenly jumps up and proclaims (loudly, I might add), "What the heck, man, I have to pee so bad!!" For real?? You just now realized this fact?? You've been doing "the dance" for almost an hour, and this comes as some sort of a surprise to you??? I mean, I can see if there were no way to pause the silly game that you might hold it for a few minutes til you get to a "save spot"...but, to hold it to a point where you have to run full-speed to the bathroom...Hello??

Are ya ready for the fun part now?? Before he can get halfway to the john, the youngest of my darling children jumps up and says, "Oh man, I have to pee so bad!" Power of suggestion, perhaps?? Anyway, I tell him to go upstairs because his brother is using the one downstairs. He says, "Mommy, I have to go too bad...I don't think I can make it upstairs." Seriously...again?? You weren't even the one playing the silly game, and now you gotta go too?? Well, the point of all this is as follows:

The eldest jumps and runs...the "little" one follows because he can, and he knows it will drive me nuts... So, they proceed to both go into the downstairs powder room and pee simultaneously... Yep, you read that right...they find it is so great to go pee at the same time. They like to "make it crossover and overlap". Yuck...

And they say it is weird for girls/women/ladies to go to the restroom in groups...Go figure!!

Is it too late to tell my kids that "Mommy" is a 4-letter word?? (Okay, it's 5 letters, but you get the point)

I wish I had a buck (hell, a nickel would make me wealthy) for each and every time I hear, "Mommy" throughout the day. And I don't mean the kind of "Mommy" that is followed by a valid question or statement...I am talking about the "Mommy" that I hear over and over and over and...(you get the point) simply because one of the kids needs to hear their own voice.

And, by the way, why is it that those silly young-folk (insert wink and a te-ha-giggle) feel the need to talk ALL the time??? More on this one later...

Anyway, back on track here...Who in God's name thought it would be smart to teach kids to say "Mommy" as one of their first words??? Seriously, whoever this was had NO kids attached to them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 4 weeks a month, 52 weeks a year...Oh, I have gone a little too far again, huh?? LOL For real, though, those of you with kids know exactly what I am saying...and those of you who know MY kids (especially a certain 5 year old who shall remain nameless) have witnessed first-hand what I am talking about. It starts first thing in the morning and does not stop til the (Thank you, Lord) point in each day when the kids have to go to bed. Don't get me wrong, I have said it before and I'll say it again, "I LOVE MY KIDS!!"...

My whole point here is this...basically, as a Mom, you hear some form of the "M-word" many, many times over the course of your life. When it first starts...you know, the "mama" thing...it is SO awesome, and you call all your friends and family to spread the news. A couple years go by, and "mama" becomes "Mommy". Cool, yes, that your little ones actually use (and understand) real words; however, at what point does that word (Mommy) become the ONLY word your child seems to know??? Okay, maybe not the ONLY word, cuz you have to take into account the other word used WAY too much by kids...you know, the "n-word". So, basically, kids go through a couple years in which the only words they seem to say are "Mommy" and "No"...

Each day would be something like this:

No, Mommy, I don't want that...No, Mommy, I will not get out of the bathroom while you pee...No, Mommy, I don't want to take a nap...No, Mommy, I'm not hungry...No, Mommy, I don't want to go yet, because I'm hungry...No, Mommy, I don't want to eat that (even though it's what you asked for...)No, Mommy, I don't need to go pee...No, Mommy, I can't brush my teeth yet, because I have to pee...No, Mommy, I don't want to wear any pants for bed...No, Mommy, I don't want to get in bed without any pants...And so on and so forth...

Not that ANY of those are examples from my daily life...

So, going back to the "talking ALL the time" issue I mentioned a few paragraphs back, I must vent. Really, I am just sharing this next part so that both kids get equal "playing" time on this field...

The eldest of the Mann children loves to play video games. And, I don't mean that in the typical "wow, I love that game" sense. I mean, the boy would sit all day, everyday in front of the Wii...like 16-18 hours a day!! The scary thing is, he is REALLY, REALLY good at just about any game he tries to play. As a parent, it is hard to tell your kid to stop and "go play with your brother for a little while" when you know they are doing the thing they are good at doing...right? BUT...isn't there always a "but"??? In my house, that request is made for one reason, and one reason, only...

...
...
...

The suspense is getting to ya, isn't it???

...
...
...

The eldest "Gamer" child prodigy NEVER stops talking while he is playing games. He sits here and talks to the characters, talks to the obstacles, talks to his remote, talks to anyone and anything that might (or might not, actually) listen!! It is really annoying. So, I find myself actually requesting the madness and volume of 2 boys playing than the non-stop banter my son has with the Wii...Seriously, he literally never stops running his mouth while he is playing a game. It's crazy...I honestly don't see where he comes up with the energy and focus to do so well in a game while he is talking to it...

On top of all that chatter, he is constantly turning around to see who (if anybody) is watching...Dang, man, I can barely make it through some of these games with total white-knuckle concentration, and this child is doing flips and sh**...

And yet, the child does not have sense enough to come in out of the rain...

"They're baaaack..."

Okay, I really don't mean that in the creepy "Poltergeist" way, but I was at a complete and total loss as to what to title a blog post after being gone for 2 weeks!

Anyway, yes, The Mann's are back. So, we had a great trip to Indiana...long, but really good. We went to the Johnson County Fair, and the kids had a GREAT time. They are big enough now to ride the cool stuff, not just the little kiddie rides. I know, you're thinking, "Why is that a good thing?". Well, I will let ya in on a little secret...I love roller coasters! It was really fun to ride the Scrambler and the Mega Bounce with the kids. I would like to skip the whole "Mom, my tummy feels weird" part of the Scrambler, but I we managed to escape the ride without being puked on! Poor Sean had a hard time with all the spinning! Austin, on the other hand, has no fear and was asking to ride those swing thingies, the Zipper, as well as a couple others. I mean, there were 2 or 3 I was unsure as to whether or not I would survive with stomach contents intact! Seriously, we did have a really good time!

We also went to this family fun place called Rascal's and had even more fun! We were joined by Daddy & Uncle Philip for this adventure. We golfed, bowled, played games for tickets, and raced go-karts. I think a good time was had by all - even though 4 of 5 grown-ups present were hungover in a serious way! Yep, the night before, we stayed up til 6:00 AM playing cards...I think we were still popping new beers at 5:00 in the morning. Ridiculous, I know, but it's a once or twice a year thing...and Papaw gets up with the kids :D. The only other negative on the day was Austin's unplanned meeting with the steel benches. You know, the ones you would typically put your bottom on?? Well, leave it to my child to figure out that the teeth and lips do NOT like those benches! He was swinging between two and slipped...landed mouth first on a solid metal bench. He looked up and was gushing blood...it was a bit scary. I'll spare you all the nasty details...to make a long story short, he is okay and appears to not have sustained any permanent damage.

About halfway through the trip, I realized that I need to get one of those personal recorder thingies...you know, the little pen-sized recorders you can use to randomly save thoughts. Yeah, I had so many "Oh, man, this would make great blog-fodder." moments during the last 2 weeks. Seriously, I so wish I had thought to take something along...Anyhoo, as things come to me, I will most likely post about the events related to the drive, the trip, and whatever else my little heart desires! After all, I haven't typed more than my name in 2 weeks! I have a lot of catching up to do. ;)

Okay, I'll spare you having to deal with my random, blabbering chatter...for now! I will be back...

Oh, BTW, do any of you remember "Poltergeist"? At the time, that was the spookiest, nastiest, nightmare-inducing movie. It is kind of funny to look back on it after seeing some of the more recent horror-type flicks and realize how simplistic it was. HOWEVER, I bet you a lot of people still remember the tree scraping the window, the creepy clown in the bedroom, and the nasty steak that crawled across the counter. No?? Don't remember that, huh?? Well, trust me, you don't want to!! Oh yeah, what about when she comes back through the TV and is covered in that nasty slimy stuff...Ewwww...

Okay, I think I have managed to scare myself here...Seriously, that is one of those movies that just really rubs me the wrong way! I actually believe it is a little creepier and scarier than some of the stuff made in the last few years. Anybody else out there find "Poltergeist" to be a bit spooky???

What happened to "hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle...???

Okay...those of you who grew up in the same era as I did will totally understand how freaking funny this is...for the rest, go look at a Mother Goose book and you will see it, too!!!

Oh, yeah, by the way...for those of you PETA supporters who are way over the top...you may want to skip the first couple rhymes...


Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.


Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.


Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.


Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
'What have you got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon,
'Pies, you dumb ass' !!


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.


Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.


Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.


There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.



So, I have to credit the last few lines of humor to en email I received earlier today, but...I still can't help but wonder what the heck has happened to this society?? Why do we feel the need to mess with Mother Goose of all people?? I mean, really, did her goose s**t on your house or something???

Okay, I'll quit griping about the complete and total abuse of American literature. However, I will also admit that I laughed my a** off at a couple of these little rhymes.

Oh, come on now, you know you laughed, too. If you didn't, you may actually be too young to really get the whole Mother Goose thing.

On this last note...I am out. I have got to get some sort of rest before I make the road trip. Hope to see (hear?? type?? write??) all of you soon. BTW, what is the proper way to state this situation??

On the road again...

So, I am leaving town again tomorrow for the second time this summer. In May/June, we made the 900+ mile journey to Texas to visit my family there, and tomorrow (technically today) we are heading out for Indiana. Yep, we are heading out on a 500+ mile journey to the "Heartland". Brian's parents are south of Indianapolis and still live in the same house he grew up in...how crazy is that?? Seriously, can you tell me the name of somebody you know who still lives in the same place they grew up or who's parents still live in the same place??? (Julie, you are not allowed to answer these questions, cuz we all know you are a L'ville native!) I swear, I think I have moved so many times in my life than I can count on both hands and both feet...that would be more than 20 for those of you a little slow in the math department! ;) Te-ha-giggle...

Wow, that was all a major detour from the original topic at hand...

Anyway, the kids and I are heading out to spend almost 2 weeks with the in-laws...Now, before all the moaning and groaning begins, I should elaborate on this particular journey. My Mother-in-law is absolutely one of my best friends...crazy, I know, but it is true. And, no, she did not pay me to put this in print...she's too cheap for that!! HA HA HA...Sorry, Mom, but ya know it's funny and you are laughing your a** off right now! (I better watch it...in less than 24 hours I will be within arms length to be smacked) (Ooohhh, wait a minute...you have an injured arm, so ya can't smack me...hmmmm...) LMAO

Dang, I need to stay on track here...it's a good thing I don't drive the way I post, or it would take us like 5 days to make the trip! As it is, with the luck we have, what should be about a 10 hour trip ends up being 12 or more. Why is it that the entire driving population can make a trip from Atlanta to Indy in about 10 hours or so, but it takes the Mann family 12+ hours (usually closer to 13 or 14)?? I mean, for real...it is very rare to make that journey without some sort of major drama...I am hoping tomorrow's (today's?) journey will be relatively uneventful. It would be nice to arrive while the sun still shines. Many times in the past, the hubby's reply to our arrival time would be, "There is no sunshine in the Men's john."

So, the kids are very excited about the impending visit to "Hoosierville". They really enjoy going up there during the summer, because we try to time our visit with Fair Week. They absolutely love going to the county fair up in the heartland. It is getting to be a rather tricky experience; however; because, we have one child who is big enough to ride some of the more involved rides but is too scared, and the other child has no fear but is not tall enough to meet height requirements! What the heck, man...any advice on this particular predicament???

(I am glad to know that the weather conditions look like they are going to be much more cooperative than last year. For example, I was told today's highs were not too far off what the temp here was a couple hours ago...64!!)

Before I sign off, I must put into print another rarity...(the first being that I actually love going to the in-law's house for those of you who didn't pick up on that). So, my brother spent the day looking at pyramids...Not all that weird right?? (yeah, sure if you are a math geek...) BUT, for those of you who have not followed, it is actually really weird!! My brother spent time today looking at THE pyramids...as in the ones in Egypt...ya know, outside Cairo??? Crazy, huh?? How many people can actually say that...Yes, I know, a lot of people can say that...but how many people do YOU know that can say that with all honesty?? So, he spent 14 hours on a plane to get to Cairo (where he landed and arrived safely, thank God); took a cab to visit the pyramids in Giza; he will sleep tonight (tomorrow...what exactly is the time difference between here and there??) and take a 5 hour bus ride to his camp; and then, he is going to be transported by helicopter offshore to do his job! Brother-man, I love you and am so proud of all you have accomplished!!!

"How many different levels of thickness have you gone through??"

I have previously stated our uncanny ability to quote movie line after movie line after movie line...and so on and so forth...

This particular title has absolutely no bearing on the subject of tonight's post; however, the movie happens to be on A&E right now, and I love that line. Actually, I could probably post an entire blog with nothing but lines from that particular movie. I'm sure you've noticed I have yet to say what movie I am referring to, right??? Well, if I actually put the title in print, I might be charged royalty fees...

Again, insert the whole "ba-da-dah".

I actually find myself at this particular point with no purpose in this post. In fact, I am starting to wonder if I am just going through this as typing practice. Nah...

You know that could never happen...I have way too much to say, right??

Hmmm...now that I actually sit down to post, I really don't have all that much to say. Damn, that would be a first, huh?? Do the rest of you have this problem?? You sit down to write something and have a massive brain-fart... What the heck...

So, instead of continuing to go on about how I have lost all that I was going to write tonight, I will say "Goodnight, Heir Doctor"...

Whoever said "Out with the old, In with new" didn't belong to Facebook!!

I know, I know...they obviously did not have Facebook back then, but how the heck else am I supposed to get you to read what I have to say???

I'm sure you all have stories of being reunited with some old friend on Facebook...don't try to deny it, cuz ya know it is true!! I myself have a story of such a reunion...In January, I was reunited with a childhood friend whom I had not seen or spoken to in 25 years! Yes, that's right...25 years of no contact and we end up on Facebook together. As it turns out, she lived just a few miles from me for the first year and some change I was in Georgia. We spent time at the same park, shopped at the same store, and travelled the same roads, yet we never crossed paths. We have actually seen each other more now that she lives an hour away than we did when she was just around the corner! My Mom has even been reunited with my old friend's family as a result of the original contact.

So, tonight, I spent almost 2 hours on the phone with an old friend...a direct result of Facebook! This is a person I grew up with...a person who knows my family & friends...a person who I have shared many, many things with...a person I would trust with my life, even though I have not seen him in years...Brad, I am so glad to have finally been reunited with you!!! After 2 hours on the phone (like it was just yesterday since we spoke), I realized just how much of my life you were a part of!! I have looked and looked for you over the years, and I am so glad to have found you...or should I say, so glad you found me!!! I hope this is not one of those reunions that is all smoke and mirrors and empty promises at the beginning, because I really do believe Brad was a big part of making me who I am today!

Wow, that all seems really mushy, but I assure you all there is NOTHING to be afraid of...Ask the guy if you are concerned!!!

I gotta sign off now, but I would like to say...Brad, if you read this, I am so glad to have been reunited again!!!

Spongebob Roundpants??

I know there are many of you thinking, "What the heck? That girl needs to get out more." Well, let me explain...You all know my kids absolutely love to watch Spongebob. I mean, they will sit for hours and watch episodes they have seen over and over and over and...you get the idea. So there is a new episode on right now where Spongebob gets new pants, and it is called "Spongebob Roundpants". They are curvy instead of the typical box-like pants he normally wears. Anyway, the reason this is rather funny to me is that during the regular school year, I was cutting out sponges to be used for a painting project. I cut one into a circle and called it "Spongebob Circle-pants". The kids all thought it was hysterical. So, I am wondering now...did one of those sweet little 3 year olds steal my idea??? ;)

BTW, you are all probably right in thinking I need to get out more!

So, we live hundreds of miles from any of our nearest family members, and most of the time it really sucks. There are times when there is some silly drama going on where it is nice to be away from it all. However, I just found out today just how out of the loop we are by being so far from home. I was on the phone with my Mom this evening having the typical "catching up" kind of conversation when the following exchange takes place:

MOM: Shane leaves for Egypt tomorrow.
ME: What??
MOM: Shane leaves for Egypt tomorrow.
ME: He's doing what? (What I really want to say is "What the $%#! did you just say?")
MOM: Don't tell me you didn't know...I thought I told you.
ME: No, I didn't know.
MOM: Obviously Shane didn't tell you either, huh. Yeah, he is leaving for Egypt tomorrow for a week. He's doing some shooting outside of Cairo for a job.
ME: What in the world are you talking about?
MOM: I'm sorry, I thought you knew.
ME: (Yes, we have been over this part...I do not know about any of this) That's crazy man!
MOM: I know; He's really excited. (Really? Ya think??)
ME: Wow...

Anyway, apparently several weeks ago, my brother, Shane, got an offer to do a job in Egypt for a week. He owns his own business and does a lot of photography, film, and editing. I guess he had to get an expedited passport, a bunch of shots, and take a helicopter safety course before he can go. The whole point to my story is...How in the world can a family be so disjointed that I didn't know my brother is leaving the country for a part of the world that is a little on the scary side right now???

Is it wrong to body-slam a 10 year old??

I know, not a question you hear every day, right? So, you all know I have spent the last 4 weeks of my life with a room full of 8-10 year old boys (and the one brave girl...thanks again, Cait!), and we have kinda started to bond. Most of us, that is... Anyhoo, there are a couple of the guys who were so nice and shy and quiet at the beginning of camp that I have now discovered had me totally fooled! I think it was all part of some master plan. You know, the whole "Let's see how long it takes to gross-out, over-power, and be louder than the teacher." Guess what...they had no clue who they were dealing with! I grew up around boys, I live with 3 males, and I am trying to raise 2 boys to be men. So, after proving I can kick butt in a burping contest (nice, huh), can kick a ball high enough and far enough to elicit comments like "Wow, Mrs. Erin, that was awesome!", and that I don't mind being sweaty, I think these guys decided I was acceptable...and a great target.



By the way, the "Wow, Mrs. Erin, that was awesome!" statement has been made many times throughout camp as I continue to defend my title as "The Burp-master".



So, today, as the other parents were arriving to pick up their kids from camp, my group and I can be found in the Music Room beating the crap out of each other! Yes, you read that right...They had decided to use the little Nerf football and the many rubber bouncers as ammo against me. What started as a game of "Monkey in the Middle" (or "Keep-away" as us old-schoolers called it) turned into a massive conspiracy to get me. I mean, I had to totally take off my glasses, because I kept getting nailed in the face hard enough to knock them off! As I am totally pegging a kid with the Nerf football, his mother happens to walk by to pick up his little sister from another room. Now, I must say, his older brother was in the room trying to help me out...not that I needed it, but it was nice! Anyway, the chase managed to make it out into the hallway, where this child proceeded to tackle me outside the room his mother was in! It was so freakin funny, I had a hard time catching my breath long enough to get him back. As his mother walks into the room to claim him and his older brother, I am totally nailing him with one of those little hop-on bouncer things! I turn in time to see his mother's face, and have a moment of "OMG, what the *&#@ was I thinking?" As I am trying to come up with why exactly I am allowing this group to attempt to take over, she says to me "Go ahead, I can wait". How totally freaking awesome is that??? So, I proceed to pick this child up and body slam him (very gently) onto the floor as his Mom, brother, and little sister look on! Again, I say "nice, huh"!


Before you all begin wondering what type of lawsuits I may be facing, I must tell you what the response was to this action. "We mess around rough like that at home...I am so sorry." Can you believe that?? I just "Mann"-handled this child (insert the whole ba-da-dah thing), and his mother is telling me to go ahead!!! What a great world. Why can't more people be like this family?

Needless to say, I am a bit concerned about what tomorrow may bring, as it is the last day of Summer Camp. I proceeded to battle with a few of the kids after-hours today...these are TK's (teacher's kids)...and I have no doubt they will be ready and waiting for me in the morning! I just think it is really cool that the guys feel comfortable enough to allow me into their "inner circle".

BUT...that does NOT mean I am not jumping out of my skin with excitement that tomorrow is the last day of camp!!!

Calgon, take me away!

Man, what a day I had today! Thank God I only have 2 more days of this insanity they call "Summer Camp". My crew was completely out of control today...I actually found myself yelling at another person's child. This is something I swore I would never do, even as a teacher! But, you have to know this kid...he makes Dennis the Menace look like an angel...

Anyway, after dealing with that for 4 hours, I am greeted by my 5-year old baby. And, when I say "baby" I mean "baby" in the largest sense of the word! I swear...will that boy ever grow up?? (I know, there are those of you thinking, "Better watch it, because in a few years you will wish he was little again.") At this point, I can honestly say that I will never wish for this boy to be the way he is now. I have very distinct recollection of Brian cutting the cord when the child was born, but I was never warned it would grow back! I think the kid would be happy if he could get back inside the womb. I keep telling him, "I can't wait til you start Kindergarten." Does that make me a bad mother??

You guys all know my little man...the youngest (and should i say LAST) "Mann" in this family. So, you know I am by no means exaggerating his behavior...whining & crying when things don't go his way, whining & crying when something changes, whining & crying when things DO go his way...are you getting the pattern yet?? I feel sorry for the kid if (and when) this stuff comes out in Kindergarten! They are gonna eat him alive...poor guy...

Got that off my chest and out of my system for the day...thanks to all for letting me vent! On the subject of venting, I have one last thing to share for now...

So, I am driving to work this morning wondering why the heck I volunteered for this madness, and this moronic idiot pulls out of his neighborhood. Doesn't sound all that bad, right? Well, he pulls out in front of me and SLOWS DOWN. I mean, are you freaking kidding me right now??? Dude could have waited 2 seconds for me to go by, as there was not another car behind me for miles. So, it gets worse... I pull up behind him as close as possible (safely possible, that is) to let him know I was not too thrilled with his lack of road courtesy. Ya know what the *&%#er did??? He flips me off...ME...like it was my fault that he pulled out in front of me. This in itself would not have been all that bad, because I know idiots will always be idiots and maybe this guy is trying to make up for some other shortcoming...BUT the guy is in a Jeep with the top down, so it's wide open. As I am muttering about what an idiot the guy is (thinking I am being sneaky about it), the kids ask me "Mommy, what does it mean when somebody sticks that finger out at you??" Nice, huh...

So, just when you think your kids have been sheltered from learning "bad" things...think again. I thought my guys would only learn this kind of stuff from school and hanging out with their classmates. WRONG!!! There are way more than potholes out there to worry about when it comes to "road hazards"...

Am I Gonna Be One of "Those"???

So, here I sit, watching this silly Legends & Celebrity Softball Game during All-Star week, and I have the thought, "Am I one of those???" For those of you who don't know what I mean, I will do my best to explain...

I can't help but wonder if I am one of those people who do what everybody else is doing but SWEAR that I do it better??? You all know me and my "say it like it is" mentality, so I know you get what I am saying. For those of you who don't know me...your loss :) Seriously, though, for those of you who don't get what I am saying, please humor me...Please tell me my blog is the best thing you ever read...

Or not...

Because I still feel completely lost with this whole thing. I mean, am I supposed to tell you all my life story here, or am I just supposed to talk??? I love to talk, so I think you all may be in big trouble...I also don't want to be one of those people who post every 8.2 seconds...

SIDEBAR: Why the hell is Bob Knight playing 1st base in the All-Star Charity game???

Okay, back on track...

I have 3 days of Summer Camp left, and I couldn't be happier. I have thoroughly enjoyed the time I have spent with my summer camp group; however, I am so ready to be done with it all. It is really hard to entertain 9 boys (between 8-10) for 4 hours everyday without breaking any laws. (Especially since we are a Christian summer camp...) I must give Kudos to my sole female companion in all this testerone-driven madness...Cait, I love that you gave up your Mom to spend this time with me and all the crazy guys...

I really must sign off now (although I have accomplished nothing), because I need to figure out what the heck to do with the group tomorrow...

If you got it on tape, then that's what I said...

We are so bad about quoting movie lines. I could probably sum up our entire life with lines from various movies. It would be one of those compilation things...you know, many different people saying many differnt things. Anyway, I realized tonight I am not near as technoligically savvy as I thought I was, because I am having a hell of a time getting this whole blog thing up and running. Does that make me a complete moron???

At first, I so did not get the whole "blog" thing...Funny how after one post you are all of a sudden addicted. Amazing to be able to let go of life with a simple blog post! So, here I sit...a typical "Mann" Saturday night complete with Miller LIte, MarioKart, and the (now famous) E-Cig!!!

BTW, for those of you who don't know, I have been Nicotine free for 11 days!!! Okay, okay...I did cheat with a "real" cigarette last night, BUT I have not craved anymore since then! I love my new smoke-free life! It is so amazing how good things taste and smell!!! If you want to know what the hell I am talking about, drop me a line! In the mean time, I will continue to enjoy my newfound sense of smell & taste, and the ability to chase my kids without gasping for breath!!!! :D

So, I have unloaded for now and am going off to try to figure out how this whole thing works...Anybody with a tip, please let me know!! Peace out...

Bear with me...I am new to this :)

So, after following many blogs of family and friends, I decided to create one of my own. This will help keep you all up to date on my life as a "Mann". Yes, you read that right...I am a Mann!! I am the only female in a house full of testerone...both the full-fledged kind and the newly developing kind...It makes for a rather interesting life!! Christina, Julie, and Erin, you will all have to help me out with this as I get used to it, okay?? More to follow...Right now, I gotta add some personalization to this thing...