What is it about Texas???

So, I just spent the last several hours watching my beloved Longhorns on ABC's Saturday Night College Showdown, and I must say I have probably aged at least 5 years. Aren't Saturday nights supposed to be relaxing? All week, I have heard more about this Texas / Texas Tech "rematch" than I care to comment about...BUT, I have to admit it definitely lived up to its billing. This game was perhaps more stressful than last year's unfortunate game. I still think the Texas defense should have either committed pass interference or the unsportsmanlike conduct penalties to avoid that freakin TD by Michael Crabtree...

Anyway, that was then, and this is now...and for now I am a happy camper. My Horns are 3-0 (1-0 in conference play). Woohoo...Hook 'Em!!!

You all know I love me some football - college and pro - and you know where to find me on Saturday and Sunday during the greatest season of the year. I love Spring and all those other "traditional" seasons, but my favorite time of year is the stretch between August and February. This is when both the NFL and NCAA Football are in full swing...

So, today, I am watching the Georgia/Tennessee game when Sean asks if he can play the Wii. It was halftime, and I was in the kitchen - out of site of the TV - fixing a snack. So, here's a brief rundown of the conversation:

SEAN: Hi, Mom, how are you?
ME: I'm fine, thanks...how are you?
SEAN: Whatcha doin?
ME: Fixin a snack
SEAN: Ummm, can I play the Wii?
ME: No
SEAN: Why?
(Cuz, ya know when a parent says "no" it doesn't matter...a kid will always ask why...)
ME: No...I'm watching a football game.
SEAN: There's no football on now, and you are in here...
ME: (Still wondering why I am justifying me original "no" response) I'm watching the game
SEAN: Why?
ME: Because I like football.
SEAN: Then why don't you play?
ME: Because grown-up girls do not play football on TV.
SEAN: Then why do you watch?
ME: Because I like it...

Anyhoo...like many other posts, I am not quite sure what I was trying to accomplish by writing, but I did (and still do) find the previous exchange with my son humorous.

Why is that we, as parents, feel the need to explain or justify our every action and decision to our kids??? At what point did society turn the kids into the "Alpha" member of the family??

Is a 'Missing Persons" report necessary??

So, I have been feeling (and acting, as I am sure many of you have noticed) a little out of sorts lately. My question is, do I need to file a missing persons report?

Please hang tight as I make an attempt to explain...

I know many of you are moms - some of you are SAHM's, some are working moms, and some of you are like me in that you are home when your kids are, but you do work outside the home as well. Wow, only a few lines into this post, and I am already confused... ;) Anyway, I have been wondering lately, "Where is Erin?" You know, kinda like "Where's Waldo" or "Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?"...But, those are fictional. My issue is quite real, and I suspect it is the question that keeps many of you awake at night.

Or, I could be totally wrong and just a victim of a distorted time/space continuum...

(That last line is a reference to "Back to the Future" for those who did not get it...I am smart, but not that smart! Sorry...I tend to use humor as a coping mechanism... I know, I'm a dork. BUT, if ya can't make fun of yourself, who can you make fun of, right? Actually, you could make fun of a lot of people, you just can't broadcast it the way I just did. Seriously, just go to Wal-Mart on any given day and get an instant ego-boost. It does make me wonder when people stopped putting mirrors in their homes...Hmmm??? Anyhoo, I have managed to venture way off track again, so I will end this particular batch of rambling and continue with the original mission.)

The only way I have been able to describe the aforementioned condition is that "I'm just in a funk." I am quite confident some of you have felt this same way in the not so distant past.

I work outside the home, but I am here to see my kids off to school and to greet them when they get home. Spending the day with 10 children between the ages of 3 and 4 is quite exhausting, but I can honestly say that I look forward to it everyday. Crazy, I know, but it is actually true... Wow, did I just put that in print??? Seriously, I look forward to going to work...I love the social interaction (I am a bit of a "social butterfly"...oh, and I like to talk!), the 10 minute drive that gives me time to myself, the smiles, hugs, and laughs of children when they walk in my room each day...I love to hear, "Hi, Mrs. Erin...I love you." or "Good Morning, Mrs. Erin, I missed you." I love to have a parent tell me they hear nothing but good things from their child about my class. These are the things that get me through the work day...

Even more, I love to hear one of my kids (and I am talking about the 2 that I gave birth to) tell me, "I love you, Mommy. I am so lucky to have such a good family." I love the hugs and kisses in the morning before they get on the bus, and then again after the bus drops them off in the afternoon. I like that they want me there each and every night to put them to bed. I like the feeling that I am going to fall over when one of the boys comes running at me out of nowhere to give me a hug. While I don't like the smell of sweaty, little boys ( kinda reminds me of a wet dog), I love the smiles on their faces when they have had a good day out with Mother Nature.

So...why is it that I feel so disjointed? I am asked, "Who are you? What do you like to do in your free time?" Questions like that really throw me for a loop, because I honestly do not know how to answer. I know what I used to like and who I used to be, but all of those things have changed. My priorities have changed. I know, I know...that's kind of a given when you have kids. BUT, I am curious as to why nobody ever speaks of this change. Did Dr. Spock write about it in a book that I failed to read?? I am often asked, "Are you okay?" Do I really come across as being that far off???

So, to skip a bunch of psycho-babble and Kleenex-inducing thoughts, I will wrap this particular post. I do thank those of you who made it to the end, and I will certainly post a more smile or laughter-inducing tale next time...

I do realize I did not quite express all that I set out to, but it is late and I have much to do...

Okay, not really, but it sounded good as I was writing it (typing?)...

BTW, as far as the whole "Back to the Future" reference...if movie writers can come up with that type of advanced technology, shouldn't the real brains in our country be able to come up with a way to reduce our fuel intake? I mean, seriously...Doc Brown ends up running a vehicle/time machine on banana peels, and we can't figure out a way to run a car without supporting the Middle East??? Hello....

Am I a victim of selective hearing or just plain old being ignored??

Do you ever have those moments where you honestly think you MUST speak a different language than your children?? What other explanation is there for the blank stares and ignorance?? I know, most of you are moms, so you of course understand what I am saying.

I am so totally threatening to make a voice recording of myself saying some very key phrases. This way, when I am being ignored, I won't lose my voice trying to get the kids to listen. I can just set the voice recording somewhere centrally located in the house...hmmm, maybe even get some sort of intercom to broadcast the words throughout the house. You know, it would include things like:

• Stop yelling
• No running
• Quit hitting your brother
• Stop saying butt, poop, fart, wiener, tee-tee, etc. (These would be recorded in individual lines though.)
• Quit playing and eat
• Turn that down
• Stop whining (Gee, I wonder who that one would be targeted at???)
• Stop crying (see above thought...)
• Stop being such a baby (again, targeted at a specific person)
• Brush your teeth
• Get in bed

And so many others, I might have to upgrade the iPod to hold it all! For example, my eldest came home from school today saying, "Hi, I'm Fart Laser." Nice, huh?? Anyway, he said it about 15 times within 2 minutes of being in the house. So, as I sat here saying, "That's nasty, don't say that." and "Stop saying that." and "Seriously, I don't want to hear it anymore.", the child just keeps bouncing around saying it over and over. I must have finally gotten my voice loud enough that he heard me on some level, because he shortened it to, "Hi, I'm F.L.!!" Little s***...I so wanted to smack him!

Then, there are those times the kids will ask you for something and not wait to hear the answer. So, as you are answering the original question, it is asked again. Only this second time it is with much more volume and added emphasis to the "Mom". When I try to explain that I have already answered that very question (usually more than once), I get that blank stare. So, of course I am thinking whatever they have asked for must not be all that important if it has already been forgotten. So, I will double-check to make sure the kid still wants the snack or popsicle or drink or whatever before opening the requested item and handing it over.

Even better, are the times you ask (for example), "What do you want to drink with dinner, lemonade or milk?" Only to be completely ignored as they try to decide what the "reward" is for whoever finishes eating first. BTW, that is another thing I would add to the voice recording, "It's not a race. It doesn't matter who finishes first." Anyway 5 minutes into dinner the whining begins, "Mom, my throat is burning, and I don't have anything to drink." So, I will ask again, "Do you want lemonade or milk?" No answer...(insert the whole crickets chirping sound effect here)... So, a few more minutes pass, "Moooom, I am so thirsty I think I am drying up inside." Oh please!! I thought only girls were supposed to be drama queens.

Anyway, you get the idea, since this goes on almost nightly in probably every household in America. I remember my mother telling people when we were younger that we had "selective hearing". I wonder if it is some sort of birth issue that goes away with age (except in the case of the male population where the problem seems to intensify...LOL). Even as I type this, I am being given the blank stare when I ask my child (for about the 30th time) to quit being nosey and to go away til I am finished.

So before I sign off to go get in his face (where I will be able to see if he is listening or not), I must tell you that I firmly believe this voice recording will become very handy in my classroom, too...

What a difference a day makes...

...or a week, as it is in my case!

Last week was my first week back to work, and I was really looking forward to a 3-day work week. As it turns out it was a great week (with 5 very sweet kids), and I have to admit I did sleep most of Monday and Friday! It was so nice to put the kids on the 7:15 bus (yes, that would be AM) and go back to bed!!

Sidebar: That aforementioned 7:15 bus takes the kids a whopping 2 miles!! And the first bell doesn't ring until 8:15...What the heck, man...Why so early???

Anyway, as the title says, "What a difference a day makes...". (Does anybody else remember that song?? Was it from a commercial or something?? Help me out here, people.) So, I got the call yesterday (Monday #2 of the school year...and, yes, I was asleep when the call came!) asking if I still wanted to teach 5 days a week. Well, here's where I was really torn in my response. The additional pay of a 5-day week versus a 3-day week is awesome and, as it happens, very necessary...BUT (sorry, can't have a post without one of those pesky "buts"), I was totally enjoying the whole Mon./Fri. spent in pajamas. (Okay I know, I always run around in my "pajamas"...just a technicality for lack of better words) Last year I taught 5 days and LOVED it, but that was all I knew. This year started as only 3 days, and I will admit that it was kind of cool.

Okay okay, enough of me typing out my internal mental issues regarding the school week and back to the topic at hand...

So as I was saying, "What a difference a day makes...". Today started week #2 of my school year, and I had a room full...and when I say full, I mean FULL...of 3 year old boys and girls. Last week's group more than doubled, and I now find myself responsible for 11 children each day. I couldn't be more thrilled that these parents entrust their children's care, development, early education, etc. to me, but...holy cow...what a complete change! I know I will get used to the larger group, and I have already adjusted my lesson plans for the next couple weeks to allow for the change. (I think it's necessary for the kids and for me too, to have a bit more time getting used to the class, the larger group, the new rules and new routines.) So, here's how my day went:

• My original 5 kids were highly confused as to the sudden influx of extra little bodies.
• The new ones were thrilled to find new toys to play with...and perhaps highly confused as to the sudden change in environment.
• There were 2 children that I was completely in the dark about when/if they were going to start.
• There was one VERY new student who didn't want Mommy & Daddy to leave and made it very clear (very loudly clear) to the whole school.
• My group time (or circle-time, as I call it) started 40 minutes later than I prefer, and many representations of mass chaos occurred during this time.
• The kids all LOVED snack time, and I think it was the only time all day they were all in one place at one time!
• I think I cleaned 48 runny noses, wiped 87 dirty hands and faces, hugged 24 sad/upset/angry/confused/happy/cute/injured kids, and thought, "What the heck was I thinking?" about 942 times...And, this is just the first day of my newly enlarged class size.

So, I won't continue to bore you with the minutia of my day; however, I do have some major gripes on the day...

If you tell me your child is potty trained, please explain to me why they will crap in their underwear within minutes of exiting the bathroom...And, if said child is truly trained, explain why that child feels the need to completely strip down (shorts, underwear, socks and shoes) in an effort to clean themselves, without telling me they need help...And, please explain to me why this same "potty trained" child then proceeds to dump the crap into the toilet, flush the toilet, then "wash" the crappy underwear in the toilet...And, tell me why this same child proceeds to run out of the bathroom into the classroom naked from the waist down and start playing with the toys...

Oh, but the real laughter and shock value didn't come until said child turned around and proudly displayed a trail of toilet paper stuck in the butt-crack...

Oh yes, any of you who have ever spent more than 2 minutes around a young child understand how hard it is to control laughter in front of such impressionable young minds. Well, let me tell ya, this was not one of those moments of contained laughter. It was just so freakin' funny to see a kid running around half naked with a string of TP hanging like some sort of fancy train - you know, like on a wedding dress...

I can honestly say it is a first for me, and I have raised 2 boys through massive potty training issues. I have spent time around many other children in that age group, whether it be family, friends or students. And, I am so thankful the rest of my class was not in sight at the time...Can you imagine??? "Hey, mommy guess what? One of my new friends was playing with toys and had no clothes on...and they forgot to take off the toilet paper." Oh yeah, real nice image to send home, don't ya think???

I could go on and on, but I think that's a great place to end this particular post...

(No pun intended!)

I am tired of the "PC" world in which we live...

...and I am not talking about computers!

Seriously, is anyone else out there done with walking on eggshells all the time?? I mean, we have opened our borders to people of all walks of life for hundreds of years. We have NEVER asked them to conform or give up their cultures, heritage, or history. I am all for the "melting pot" concept our country was founded on...but (see, there it is again)...don't ya think the double standards are getting a little old??

I mean, I don't go to Mexico and threaten lawsuits if my waiter doesn't speak English...I don't go to Canada and stage a protest because the French language is offensive to me...I would never go to the Middle East and threaten to bomb the place because the schools won't let me wear shorts and a t-shirt. Are ya getting my point?? But (there it is again!), these people all come here and do the exact things I am talking about, and we adapt our laws! How messed up is that??

I think the US is the only country in the world without a national language. The majority of the people in this country speak English, so why not set that as the national language of this great nation? Why do I have to pay higher taxes, so the public school system can afford to pay ESL teachers? Shouldn't English be taught as the first language, not as a second language? I have no problem with speaking your native tongue, but do it at home. Don't force me and my family to alter our education, work habits, shopping habits, etc. because you don't know English.

Before I say anything else, please let me answer a few questions that may be running through your mind right now. NO, I am not a racist or a white-supremacist. YES, I live in a very culturally diverse area of town. YES, I am friends with my neighbors and coworkers, regardless of their backgrounds. (And this includes Nigerians, Peruvians, Brits, and Indians.) YES, I enjoy learning and experiencing these different cultures. My point is that I am tired of being forced to watch what we say or do for fear of a lawsuit or military attack.

I firmly support building a wall around our borders. Not as a means of keeping immigrants out, but as a means of keeping them out ILLEGALLY. Feel free to come to this country in an effort to live the "American dream", but do it through the proper channels. Take the classes, learn our history, learn English, become citizens, get a job, pay taxes, etc...These things are all part of OUR culture.

I am tired of all the illegals in this country getting free education, free housing, free health care, etc...free for them anyway, as the real Americans in this country are footing the bill. And now our President is trying to include them in the next national census and to provide even more health care coverage. Am I the only one who sees a problem with this plan???

I realize I am venting and may not be making any new friends with these words, but I am struggling, too. I am having a hard time paying my bills and putting food on the table and providing good health care for my family. The difference is, I am a REAL American...I cherish the freedoms we have in this country. I refuse to "milk the system" simply because it is there and I can. I am not going to sit on my butt all day with the assumption that I am "entitled" to and the governement will take care of me. Get real, folks...we are headed in a really scary direction...

The Constitution of the United States of America was written with purpose and has worked just fine for over 200 years...why in God's name would anybody want to change that now???

On that note, I will sign out for the time being...but I have one last thing to say:

God Bless America!!

"We've only just begun..."

"to live...white lace and promises..." Okay, I am no Karen (sp?) Carpenter, but I do like that song. Anyhoo, the reason breaking out in song is today I am celebrating my 8th wedding anniversary. Brian and I were married in Gatlinburg, TN 8 years ago, today. It has been an ever-changing, sometimes rough, but always fun ride. Brian, if you are reading this, I love you!! Thank you for 8 great years of marriage...I can't wait to see what the next 8 years bring.

You know how you hear those stories of "love at first sight"?? Well, ours was not quite that much of a fairy-tale. We were coworkers from 2 different parts of the country who happened to get promotions/transfers to Nashville within a week of each other back in 1999. Believe it or not, his apartment was over my garage in the same apartment complex!! Little scary, huh?? If you believe in fate, this story is for you.

Anyway, we got along great and became fast friends. (We were both involved with other people at the time, or I suspect we would have been together even sooner.) Many months later, we went to dinner...I knew at the end of that night that Brian was the man I wanted to spend my life with! I think he knew it, too, but it took him a little longer to acknowledge the fact. We started hanging out a lot...bowling, watching basketball games, lunches, dinners, happy hour and shooting pool... We were having a great time with our new found friendship (love??).

And, to make a long story short, here we are...8 years of marriage, 2 kids, 3 houses, a cat, and a new state to call "home" later! They always say things happen for a reason...perhaps our meeting was predetermined?? (Who are "they" by the way??)

Are you ready for some football???

The annual NFL Hall of Fame Game just finished up on this lovely Sunday evening...and I could not be more thrilled!! No, not thrilled that it is over, but thrilled because it means the newest installment of NFL football is right around the corner. I know, most of you are thinking, "Oh, great, this means my husband is gonna be glued to the TV for the next few months." BUT...(see, there's that "but" I always have)...In my house, this is such a good thing! Seriously, we LOVE football in this house...preseason, regular season, college, pro...you name it and we are probably watching! And, the completion of the HOF game means the "official" preseason starts in a matter of hours...And, the start of the "official" preseason means it is only a matter of hours (okay, weeks, but who's counting) until the completion of preseason football...And, the completion of preseason football means the start of regular season football...

And so on and so forth...

Anyhoo, this means I can quit watching crappy TV at night, because I will have a ball game or two to watch a few nights a week!! Yippee...

So, my Titans looked pretty good in the game this evening, and I can only hope that they will continue the success of last season. There have been several changes made to the roster...some good, some bad, but all in all they are in for a pretty good year.

Okay, I know you are not here for the latest in the NFL (that's what ESPN is for, right?), so I will try to keep posts football-free from this point forward.

Tomorrow is the first day of school for the boys...and of course, all the other thousands of kids who also reside in our county! As of 11:00 PM on Sunday, I am taking bets...for what, you ask??? Well, the "little" one is so excited to ride the bus with his big brother. (I really think that's the only reason he is excited about starting school.) Well, I am about 90% sure the boy will refuse to get on the bus in the morning. Those of you who know the child are probably applauding me for my optimism...probably thinking it's more like 100-200% that he won't get on the bus... LOL It's a good thing the bus comes early, that way I have plenty of time to dry up the tears (his, not mine) and drive him to school.

Oh man, did I just say I am glad something is happening early??? What the heck...something has to be wrong with me!! For real, though, we have to be out and ready to catch the bus at 7:15. Yes, that is AM! Can you believe that??? What type of insanity is this...These kids are in elementary school, not high school or taking college classes. School doesn't start until 8:15...what are they gonna do with my kids for an hour??? We live 2 miles from the school... Two miles!! I mean, I could walk to the school in less than an hour, and they want my kids that early?? Crazy!!

So, I am signing off for now, but I promise to have LOTS to post tomorrow, as I am quite sure my kids will have had an interesting first day of school.

Oh, yeah, anybody want to make a bet as to whether or not Mom (that would be me) wakes up on time??? You bet I will...I'll be kickin' them out the door before sun-up!! LOL I will also take bets as to whether or not Mom (yep, still me) stays awake after the kids are off to school...