What happened to "hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle...???

Okay...those of you who grew up in the same era as I did will totally understand how freaking funny this is...for the rest, go look at a Mother Goose book and you will see it, too!!!

Oh, yeah, by the way...for those of you PETA supporters who are way over the top...you may want to skip the first couple rhymes...


Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.


Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.


Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.


Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
'What have you got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon,
'Pies, you dumb ass' !!


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.


Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.


Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.


There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.



So, I have to credit the last few lines of humor to en email I received earlier today, but...I still can't help but wonder what the heck has happened to this society?? Why do we feel the need to mess with Mother Goose of all people?? I mean, really, did her goose s**t on your house or something???

Okay, I'll quit griping about the complete and total abuse of American literature. However, I will also admit that I laughed my a** off at a couple of these little rhymes.

Oh, come on now, you know you laughed, too. If you didn't, you may actually be too young to really get the whole Mother Goose thing.

On this last note...I am out. I have got to get some sort of rest before I make the road trip. Hope to see (hear?? type?? write??) all of you soon. BTW, what is the proper way to state this situation??